Friday, 25 December 2009

Just to say...


Yep, I'm a linguistic genius today.
Apols for lack of accents, I'm lazy, but anyway I hope you all had a great day.

(Let's face it, am I ever gonna update this blog again? Rarely. Ah, well. Enjoy the archives babes x)

Sunday, 22 November 2009

A Quote for Today.

Obviously this isn't my quote, because I'm not that inventive. But it's pretty brilliant, even if I did jack it from Glamour magazine.

"Lust tastes like tequila and love tastes like whiskey. Love burns for longer and warms you up on the inside and sometimes it makes you do stupid things. Tequila just makes you wasted" - Jackson Rathbone

(Why is everything orange? I didn't do this.)

Saturday, 21 November 2009

Old Buggers

Let me start off by saying that I have the utmost of respect for those who fought in WWII. Seriously, I'm eternally grateful to those who gave their lives, suffered great hardships etc; I appreciate that without them I'd be speaking German right now. And I wouldn't be writing a blog (no freedom of speech) or...actually, I wouldn't be born. Part-Jewish, you see.

So now that that's out of the way, I'm going to rant about an article I read in the Daily Mail today. In essence, it was war veterans who had answered a question along the lines of: was it worth it? Is Britain as a country worse than it used to be? The answer, in short, was no. But there was no focus on things that might actually be an issue, oh no. The focus was vastly on immigration. Example: "I don't like all these people in Muslim and Sikh costumes on the streets," "they come over here laughing at us and taking our welfare whilst we scrimp and save on our pensions," "was it worth it? no."

Paraphrased, but you get my point. And if there's one thing that really, SERIOUSLY makes my blood boil, its racism like this - mindless, pointless, generalisations that victimise one sector of society. When you have a heart attack, old man, and there's a muslim doctor and a sikh nurse, I hope you refuse treatment and die. Or are you willing to take advantage of it? I think you are.
And when you fought in the war, was it to secure Britain as a country, make Britain great above all others. Was this your ultimate aim: a British utopia, when every other country was post-armageddon, a radioactive wasteland? No, you were fighting for the greater good and for peace throughout Europe. Why should you guard our priveleges so closely, deny them to others who, let's face it, want to get ahead in life? It's a natural human instinct.
And I bet you never buy *anything* made abroad, either. You don't support human sweatshops, where 11 year old kids are forced to work 14 hours a day to recieve what your pension gives you in a week every year. If one of them needed life saving treatment on the NHS, I bet you wouldn't begrudge them it.
The point is, you can't pick and choose who you give benefits to. It's not right, it's not something you have the power to make decisions on - if you're religious, it's God. For me, it's nobody. I wouldn't deny anyone the right to healthcare, the right to want what's best in life. Is that a mentality so very different from yours?
I know, I understand I do that it's hard to accept the nature of immigration. It's hard to understand how it can be fair to share the country you fought for with those who didn't.
I didn't fight for the right to live in this country.

I think I blame the Daily Mail itself, mostly. The audacity they have to spin ONE QUESTION at the end of ONE QUESTIONNAIRE into a double page, 'the atrocity of britain today' is dreadful. And blatantly, disgustingly racist.
I don't know why I'm surprised, given it's reputation.

So I don't know. Maybe I come across a little harsh, maybe I don't make much sense, but you get my point. Britain. Is. Fine.

End of.

Thursday, 5 November 2009


I genuinely have nothing to say, but I realised I haven't done anything resembling a blog in a while. I'm watching Spooks on replay at the moment, it's not the same since Adam and Zaf went.
Spooks aficionados: I appreciate this was a long time ago. I watch things out of order.
On another note: GUY OF GISBURNE :O:O what's he doing in Spooks?!?
Mm, hott.

This wasn't supposed to be a drool post, let me tell you something else interesting. Buttercream makes my teeth ache.

Here we go: facebook applications. I set up a fishtank on my Happy Aquarium and NOW I feel bad for letting my fish die because they have cool names: Sonic, Otto, Tetra, DaVinci, Eureka, Boomer, Chip, and Radatad.
You want my fish.

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

I amuse myself.

I really, really would like to put something in my story right now. I wrote it yesterday some time, and realised on the toilet just what I'd done.

(Aside: I realise alot of things in the toilet. Don't ask we why. Clearly the Force is strong in there.)

""Thanks a bunch," I said, taking a deep breath in as the group advanced forwards into the mouth of the tunnel, "I feel so much better now."
"Pleasure," said the boy distractedly, taking in the way ahead, "big, aint it?" "

The quick-minded amongst you will already have guessed the punchline, but anyway.

That's what she said.


Sunday, 4 October 2009

X Factorrrr :)

What, you didn't see an X Factor post coming sooner or later?
Anyway, the final 12 acts are announced and through, and for me...some of the decisions were good, some bad. More below.

Simon Cowell - Over-25s

Simon had easily the most talented category this year. Some really good acts had to get sent home, but I think he made the right decision. Although I liked TreyC Cohen, because she was from Brumtown like me :)

Danyl Johnson

Just amazing, deserves every chance he gets. Simon was right when he said his was the best first audition ever.

Jamie Afro

A legend in name and in hair. Quite similar to Danyl imo, I think Ethan should have gone through instead. But still a talent.

Olly Murs

My personal favourite. I love his moooves and his soul voice and just generally, I think he's awesome. I think he'll come 2nd.

Groups this year... weren't great. But really, they never are, are they? But my first and most HATEFUL point here.

John + Edward Grimes

HATE HATE HATE! Talentless, arrogant idiots without the brains to fill a teacup between them. If they get any further than the first week I'll cry. Hate hate hate.

Miss Frank

On the other hand, I think Miss Frank are ah-mazing! I love how they're all amazing singers in their own right, they have such a great thing and when Graziella does her little Spanish rap...WOW. I genuinely think they should win, they're my favourite and they're amazing.

Kandy Rain

Generic and won't get far. Yes, they're pretty, but limited talent. Out in the first or third week with any luck.
Firstly, I've totally warmed to Danni this series. She's so nice :)

Her girls are pretty good too. I'm sad Despina didn't get through, but the rest I think were the right decision.

Rachel Adeji

I don't like her hair, but that's a bit rude of me. Great voice, great personality.

Lucie Jones

Oh my gosh so pretty! I'm utterly jealous. Also has an amazing voice, she's not exactly different though is she? I'll be interested to see how she does with uptempo songs and dancing and things. Hopefully she'll pull it off.

Stacey Solomon

I'm withholding judgement until I see more of her. Sweet though.

Cheryl, in my humble opinion, made many BAD decisions. SEXY ETHAN?! What happened to him!? I loved him!

Daniel McElderry

Great voice, something of a personality. Might do well, but I'm not a massive fan.

Lloyd Daniels

Fit as, and only 16 which is shocking. Not as fit as Ethan, and his voice isn't very strong. Also, wearing his hat backwards?!

Anyway, I'm excited for the live series :):):)


First out: Kandy Rain
Winners: Miss Frank.

Saturday, 3 October 2009

Artifical Intelligence

This isn't a science post, promise.
I hate science, I gave them ALL up for A-Level.

I'm talking about writing, the process of, the hobby of. I haven't mentioned it here before, but I do like to write. Purely for recreational purposes, just to get the characters out of my head and on to something permanent mostly. ANYHOW, I'm talking here about a subplot of a specific story (which I've pretty much abandoned) and how it completely changed.

My original plan was this - create a team that were sort of like Justice League America - people with different backgrounds who came together in a common cause. Originally, the protagonist Rosie was intended to fall in love with the first guy who comes to the team.

I named him Edward, temporarily, simply because he was the romantic interest for the lead, like Edward Cullen. Yes, I know. Gay. But like I say, it was a temporary name which didn't reflect his character at all.

Then, later in the book, I planned for these prodigiously clever twins to join up too, and be a part of the team. Finally, a fifth member called Claire was going to end up a part of them.

EITHERHOW, I started writing this story in the traditional way, starting at the beginning, and I tried to write in the first flutterings of relationship between Rosie and Gayboy Edward.

And it just wasn't working! No matter how hard I tried, in every scene I planned out the chemistry between them just didn't exist, they didn't manage conversations, basically they were rubbish.

And then in a eureka moment (I believe it happened in a Physics lesson in the end) I realised that not only would Rosie eventually end up with someone else, EDWARD WAS GAY. In a homosexual way.

Oh, you thought my choice of terminology was incidental? Naw. I mean, he's gay in a Dumbledore-like way, that you can't actually tell, but he is actually gay. I like him alot better now, he's alot less intimidating and fits in better with the little team dynamic I've tried to get going on.

So yeah, what was my point again? Oh yes, it was the moment I realised my characters were starting to chart their own destinies. Which meant they had personalities. Which meant they were practically real. Which meant I'd succeeded.


Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Last night,

I found my iPod and my entire depression LIFTED.
Now my world is filled with thoughts of Ewan McGregor singing Your Song on top of a jewelled elephant and Alexander Kerensky escaping Russia dressed as a nurse.

Seriously, I was convinced yesterday I was depressed due to my life, but evidently it was just my iPod. Awesome. I love how superficial my life is.

Imagine this guy dressed as a nurse if you will.

Monday, 28 September 2009

I knew life would suck.

At the risk of whining,

my family don't see me as a real person,
my friends don't notice when I'm not there,
alot of the time I wish I wasn't.

I did it on purpose. Like Zaphod Beeblebrox, I messed with my programming. Only I made it my default to be invisible, because if I wasn't taking anything then there was no pressure to give anything, which means there's no pressure to be a valid human being.

I do have issues with that.

Also I've lost my iPod.

Saturday, 26 September 2009


Yes, good news all round folks. I have a JOB. I am a cashier at Tesco which sucks but PAYS, which brings 99% of my worries and throws them down the toilet. My life is goooood.

Friday, 25 September 2009

Remember My Name!

I've never seen the original Fame. Well, I wasn't exactly born when it came out, was I? But I can guarantee 100% it's better than the awful crap I saw today.

From start to finish it was an absolute cliche, but it was worse than that - a cliche is fine in the right place, like in High School Musical.
It wasn't even the actors - they could all act at least passably.
But it had absolutely no plot from start to finish! There were vague nuances - sometimes Kay Panabaker and Fit-Guy broke up - but really? Lackage of proper plot, which was mostly due to the weird format - they'd start progressing in freshman year, then SKIP, they've moved on to sophomore! And so on. So you don't really feel any sense of empathy for the characters. Some of them I didn't even work out their names till afterwards. Some of them I still don't know, but I've got IMDB for reference.

Individual character points now.First, the protagonist. On the right above, if you were confused.
Jenny is a highly-strung girl who has trouble loosening up for her drama lessons, and can't sing anything that your grandma hasn't heard of. Naively, she then falls for the ol' "I know a casting director" spiel and nearly gets raped.
Stupid idiot. Her boyfriend warns her against it, but does she listen? No.
And do we despise this girl for her uselessness, be surprised at her lack of success? OF COURSE NOT, we love her for her klutzy crapness.

On the left, the love interest. Marco.
Admittedly this guy was fitness defined, but god, his voice was so...basically Jonas Brothers. And he had lots of teeth. I don't have masses of beef with Marco, but that's only because he had no character anyway, so there was nothing to hate.

Up there is Denise. Denise is a classical pianist, and she's brilliant. She's a bit bored with it but, as she tells Malik, "I've never tried anything else."
And then one day she tries to sing a song on a whim and SURPRISE SURPRISE she's absolutely brilliant.
And then she teams up with two other students, sings HIP HOP, and is offered a record deal if she ditches her friends. But...she says no. She's "following her heart"
I did tell you it was cliche.

There was no character who angered me more than Malik.
Because the guy was black, he lived in a single-parent household, who's father left and was a crack addict, the sister got killed in a drive by shooting and he raps. He's also full of anger and lacking respect.
I mean REALLY. Could there be a more disgustingly stereotypical outlook than that? I can just see the bespectacled production team going "meh. we need a more street outlook. let's stick in a black guy with a past."
This made me severely sick, and I'm going to stop talking about it.

I can't even be bothered with Joy, Alice, Victor, or the camera-man bloke whose name I do not know. No personality. No nothing. And although I think Alice was *supposed* to be the bitch of the film, there was no conflict, no friction, NADA.

I will mention Kevin though. Kevin's the lefternmost of the picture above, next to Joy, Victor and Alice.

Kevin is a really bad ballet dancer from Iowa. And he's not going to be good enough to make it big (which is blatantly obvious from day one) which is sad. But one day (probably in senior year) his teacher calls him into the office, and says...Kevin. You will never make it as a professional ballet dancer.
And then there's this totally touching scene where he tries to commit suicide, which I actually thought was really well done (althoguh I wasn't quite sure why Jenny,Joy and random extra were in the subway at the same time, why he'd be cruel enough to do it in front of them and why Joy didn't chat to him when she later calls him her "best friend")

Over bracket use, sorry.

Bottom line, the damn thing was terrible. Woo.

Friday, 18 September 2009

Paper Round.

I don't actually *have* a paper round. My little sister does, but she's laaazy so sometimes (me being the best sister in the universe) I do it for her, and I enjoy it immensely. Because I just trundle around with my earphones in and my papers in my little fluoro cart, taking in the delights of early evening Solihull and people watching.

The best thing is, when I open the porch doors to drop the papers, I catch little sniffs of the house inside. So I can tell if old people live there because they smell *old*
And I can tell if someone's having curry for tea, or beefburgers, or bacon, and me being nosy as I totally love that.
Sometimes you see that everyone takes off their shoes before they go inside, so you know they're cleanliness freaks, and they're all wearing sandals so they're all total squares.
And there's the little labrador statue with a Birmingham City FC knitted hat on so you know they love dogs and football.

It's just nice to get little insights into other people's lives :) Sort of knowing that other people are all having lives, and these little serendipitous moments where we all cross over are so...interesting. Which is why when I'm a student I will spend ALL my free time sitting in a caff, watching people walk past and eating pasta.


Emma x

Thursday, 3 September 2009


Guess what I've been to see.

I've had a bit of a fascination for Nazi Germany going on for about...a year, maybe two, now. I just drink up anything around the time and the area...something about it really captured my interest. So going to see Cabaret was a great big treat for me, because it combined history and music.

Wayne Sleep played his MC part brilliantly, by the way. Just the right amount of creepy. The dancers were all brilliant (bar one) and the acting also pretty good.

There were also lots of gratuitous naked people, gay kissing and people having 'sex' on stage, (including 6ft Helga and a 5ft sailor) which was a bit awkward seeing as I went with my mom and little sister.

But seriously, it was awesome. *such* a story, really, I nearly cried when Sally was singing Cabaret.

Not exactly a fluffy musical though.


By the way.

Ah, bollocks.

Up until I dunno, a week ago? Ask me if I wanted children, and my answer would have been "Meh."
Just meh. I wasn't exactly anti-family, or anything, but if a fortune teller had told me I'd never have kids, I wouldn't have cried or even been that bothered.

Now though, that's changed. All of a sudden, WHAM BAM THANKYOU MAM, I am broody as heck.

And you know why? A stupid facebook quiz, one of these predict-you-future jobbies. Obviously it's not going to come true, I'm not completely braindead. But all of a sudden, I just...
Picture came out small, but text reads:

"Emma took the 'Children? How Many? Where? When? And got the result: 3 girls 2 boys. You will have identical triplet girls at 23 years old, you will call them Eva, Isla and Mia. Then on your 30th birthday you will have a son called Jacob. Finally just before you turn 34 you will have another boy called Fin."

I don't want triplets, I don't want 5 children, whatever. What I do want is a family. I don't want to be alone when I'm old, I don't want to have lived a life of complete unfulfillment, blah, blah and blah.

So yeah...heartwarming, huh? I guess I'm softening up in my old age.

Other things to tell you about:

My hallway currently looks like an umbrella garden. There are four, and my hall is so small I can't do the splits across the length of it.
I can't do the splits anyway, but whatever.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Coming Back Down With A Bump

So...unless you're Australian or extremely unlucky, you like me are still on holiday. Yes, despite the fact that it's tipping down with rain outside, I'm still clinging to what's left of my free time. Unfortunately life seems to have other ideas. My stress levels are tippity top right now, and here's why.

MONEY (immediate)

At the moment, I have no money. At all. In fact, I have exactly £1.10 to my name and I've still got a vast amount of my sixth form wardrobe to buy, including a black skirt, 3 more tops, a pair of shoes plus stationary, and preferably a new school back. Plus the ridiculous amount of September babies I've got to buy presents for.
My £1.10 won't even stretch to lunch.

MONEY (future)

Because you see, there's a History/Politics trip to America next year, and it's going to cost a minimum of £800. Probably £1000. Meaning that according to my mom, I'm going to have to 'put in' if I want to go. So I've been job hunting.

Number of CVs handed out so far: 10
Interviews gained: 2
Jobs recieved : 0.

Needless to say, the job hunt is not going well. I'm still waiting to hear on one of them, but if I don't that means looking for more vacancies, writing endless application forms, and INTERVIEWS.
I hate interviews.
Today, the interviewer asked me why he should hire me for the job I was going for. You know what I answered? "Uh...I'm a nice person?"
Whilst I am undeniably excellent (:P) at writing stuff down and creating a kickass CV (believe me, it kicks major butt) I SUCK at saying it out loud! Why must I be so failful?


Yeah, sixth form will be fun. Yes, I will rule the school. But it will also suck because: Y13 rule the common room this year. Which sucks for us lowly Y12s. I have to share a common room with the rest of Y12, who I don't like. Apparently the boys' school common room smells bad, and that's where the pool table and the vending machines are. School means more homework, A levels, getting up regularly and bottom line ALL WILL BE BORING.


I'll find something happy and/or funny to tell you guys eventually.

Sunday, 30 August 2009

Okay so,

I'm sorry. But I sold out and put music on my page, DESPITE the fact that I hate having to listen to other people's music, DESPITE the fact that it's really, really annoying.

But hey, there it is. If you don't like it, press pause.

Saturday, 29 August 2009


Addenendum to the last post: I felt like the film had been MASSIVELY cut to make a time limit. Just a theory.

I think I need a hug.

The alternate title for this blog? Something along the lines of fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

But a) that would be over-swearing and b) I gave myself a few seconds so my thoughts would clarify.

So I've actually decided that it would bore anybody who tried to read this thing, so I'm skipping the emotional outpouring. Trust me when I say to the average human being, it bore you until all your senses failed.

Let's talk about something else! The Time Travelers Wife!
(Note that I spelt it the American way. I'm not happy about it, but that's how they spelt it in the film, so...)

Yeah, I went to see the film today. I have two points about it:


It was a damn clever plot. I'd imagine the writers got a bit of a headache trying to keep a hold on all the many time strings. Plus they took on that bugger, time travel. Admittedly they didn't really explain the whole "I can't change things" concept very well - I think an example would have shown it better, but at least there weren't any plot holes or headaches on the whole "changing things" thing.

And now I've confused everyone, let's move on to this more ranty point:


I was hideously, ridiculously bored during most of this film. They basically skipped over all of their relationship, all of the juicy parts, for a really rapid hyperjump through time...they spanned something like 40 years in one film! There's no way you can go in depth like that, so you couldn't really *feel* their relationship. So it wasn't *that* sad when (spoiler! highlight to read.) Henry died at the end. Although I maybe had a little tear. I cry at everything.

Okay, overall? I'd give it like, a 5/10. Kudos for the effort.

Over and out xxx

Tuesday, 25 August 2009


Not my parents, of course. I'm talking about the library again. I've noticed that most parents of young children can be grouped into a couple of major categories. Which follow.

The Ventriloquist

e child answers any questions through their parents''s magic! Example:

Me: What's your name sweetie/honey/mate?
Child: A-
Parent: Alex Jenkins. We're on our 5th book.

Yep, because the child can't speak. It gets worse though, because I'll be all "did you enjoy your book?" and they'll say...Alex didn't like it.

FOR GOD'S SAKE. I'm not assessing you, I'm chatting to your brat! Be quiet! I'm not asking questions because I'm interested in the book, I'm trying to get your kid to speak, so let them for goodness sake.
On a related note, you have no idea how many times I've heard the plot of 101 dalmations this summer.
Of course, the exception is when the child is shy. Then I'll forgive them, because I don't want anybody to start crying on my beat.

The Translator
ask a question directly to the kid. The parent then asks the same question in the same words, as if I'm speaking in a foreign language. Helloooo, I'm talking here! IN YOUR LANGUAGE.


Me: Hey, what's your name please?
Parent: What's your name Ewan?
Ewan: Ewan.
Me: Last name?
Parent: What's your last name Ewan?
Ewan: Ewan McGregor.

No, Ewan McGregor wasn't there. D'be cool if he was though.

Again, sometimes it's neccessary, because the child won't answer to ANYBODY but mom, but the vast majority of the time THEY'RE FINE. STOP TRANSLATING.

Hmm. I kind of can't be bothered. I'll finish this up in another will probably be called Parents II, but don't be disappointed if it isn't.

Friday, 21 August 2009

Because my job is so fricking exciting,

A list of interesting names (and possible lives) I've found. These are all kids, so I'm probably breaching some sort of law, but really? Who cares.

FIRST OFF, a celebrity!
Yup, who'da thunk it? On the reading challenge books is a guy called Max Beesley.
I know, I got pretty excited when I saw it too.

Needless to say, the real Max Beesley is not a part of the reading challenge. Our Max is 8 years old, and ginger. But hey, I still found it quite exciting.

Tallulah Ace

'scuse the pic. I couldn't find a 6 year old spy.

Nope, not a celebrity this time. With a name like Tallulah Ace, this kid's GOTTA be a spy. I'm convinced of it. Of course at the tender age of 6 she'd be MI5's youngest ever recruit. But yeah, the gal's a hotshot agent, bound to be.

Ruby Jean Carr
Gosh I'm cruel. But hey, the search terms "ugly waitress" didn't come up with much.

Name less interesting, this time. Backstory still fully functional. Ruby Jean Carr, as far as I'm concerned, is a Scouser. She works in a caff, and has red hair, chain smokes and has a son called Stevie.

Miss Storm Farmer

No pic for this one, I can't even IMAGINE what the kid is like. But with a name like that, she's clearly from another planet, maybe one where she organises the weather for a living. And she's got silver hair and a black catsuit and I just described Storm from X-Men, didn't I?

Fine, whatever.

There were lots more interesting things about Miss Storm Farmer, but I won't publish them here. Data protection and whatnot. Eitherhow, she sounds like one cool cat, huh?

Okay, a leetle picture, just for the hell:

Right, one more, and I truly have NOTHING to say about this:

Roodi Levi Leslie Gent.

Sir, I salute you.

That's all for now, g'night folks.

A Conversation Between Nerds

Background: my friends and I all take a subject called Computing, which is basically computer programming. We all pretty much hate it, but it's kind of invaded our brains... oh and there weren't really 6 friends in the conflab. I just can't remember who said what.

So basically, != is programmy speak for not equal to, and in the language we use you end every statement ends in a semi-colon. Thus,

a != b;

would mean a is not equal to b (which totally wouldn't make sense, but whatever)


Friend 1:Y'know, I totally ended a sentence with a semi-colon the other day.
Friend 2: Omg, I do that all the time! I look up and I'm, punctuation fail.
Friend 3: I keep using not equals, you know *miming* the exclamation and the equals. Everyone just thinks I'm saying REALLY EQUALS.
Friend 4: Yeah like, OMG THIS EQUALS! But really, that doesn't make sense because the ! comes *before* the =, not the other way round.
Friend 5: Fools.
Friend 6: You guys know I have no idea what you're talking about, right?

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

So many people,


Take The Street, for example. By which I mean the TV programme. People SUCK THIS STUFF UP. THROUGH A STRAW.
And yeah, its beautiful. Gritty. Inspiring. Well choreographed, excellently scripted, cutting edge drama.

It's also incredibly boring and ridiculously depressing, but I'm the only person who notices this, because like I say, everyone loves it.

But it's so predictable. The writer (Jimmy McGovern?) has taken people's *expectations* of a realistic drama and served them up on a plate, which is naturally a ratings winner. But it's not REAL, it's cheesy. This week, Timothy Spall's character, a kind-hearted man who wouldn't hurt a fly, sleeps with Ruth Jones behind his wife's back. And then, at his wife's subsequent funeral (yep, the shock of finding out LITERALLY killed her) he delivered a speech so empowering and touching that everyone stood up and applauded him.

Don't they just ALWAYS come up with an inspiring speech?

The plot was pretty weak, the characterisation is off, but because it has the tagline of a "gritty drama" that's okay. It can make all the mistakes a TV program never should, but no-one notices.

Except me, gosh, just call me the messiah. Bob the poet, bob the prophet, i'm bob the builder!

Hmm, where did I start with this? Oh yeah, boring people. Aren't they just?


Emma x

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Seriously guys,

What have I accomplished this summer? Really? and my friend said the b-word to each other. Big deal.
That's right, after five years we now feel comfortable adding the BEST prefix to our relationship. You heard correctly, we're BEST FRIENDS now!

I do wonder if I've grown up since I was 5, seriously. And the answer I give myself is no, in fact I've probably regressed considering the uber mature 5 year olds I meet in the course of my oh-so-exciting summer work at the library.

Basically I help the brats with their reading challenge, and I can now give you a complete transcript of almost every conversation. In fact...BRB guys, I'm going to make an effort!

Well screw that. Making flow charts is so difficult; I'll just tell you instead.

Me: "Hey, have a seat. What's your name please?"
Child: "Amy"
Me: "Ok, what's your last name?"
Child: "Um..." (looks to Mom for help) "Johnson"
Me: "Ok, I'll just find your card."
*3 hours later*
Me: HERE IT IS! Woo...okay, um, so these are your 3rd and 4th books right?
Child: Um...yes?
Me: Great! So...which one was your favourite book?
Child: That one.
Me: And what happened in that one?
Child: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Me: Great! And the other one?
Child: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Me: Okay, here are your silver stickers, sticker wallet, holographic card, bookmark, miscellaneous paperwork and would you mind completing a review sheet?
Child: o_0 (boggled by the fact that its raining paper)

Repeat 20 times in 3 hours and please try not to kill yourself.

Why do I set myself up for these things?

The hour and a half yesterday when they had a magician in has been the highlight of my week.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Good Morning,

It is, I think, a good morning. I got up (as always), and now I'm eating cereal.
I've brushed my hair early so it has time to regain some blomff from being brushed into submission, I've found my money for the cinema later.
Yep. I'm doing absolutely nothing.

Thursday, 16 July 2009

Ah, Harry.

So yea, I've finally got round to watching Harry Potter 6.
As an avid (and I do mean avid) fan of the series, I was always gonna be disappointed. Wasn't awful though, was it? Better than some of the atrocities we've been served.
In general, I thought Tom Felton was ACE as Draco Malfoy. The only character I actually sympathised with throughout.
But there was one bit of Malfoy-ness that had me choking with laughter, and you need some background here.
I read alot of fanfics.
Alot of fanfics are slash.
Alot of slash is Draco/Snape.
Thus, Draco/Snape is inherent in my mind.
So Snape with Malfoy against a wall, with Draco shouting "I don't need protection!" had me rofling.

Luna's lines were all hilarious, of course, she made me laugh veryvery hard too.

What else made me giggle?
Oh yes, Ron under the influence of the love potion, and Harry all felix'ed up. Yes, they were funny.

Another highlight:

Mmm :)
And I don't mean Slughorn either.In the last 3 films, I've really hated Michael Gambon as Dumbledore. He was OH SO ANGRY. But he grew on me this film, was more soft and Dumby-ish. Which is good. Shame they killed him off as soon as I started to like him.
Most AWKWARD relationship ever.
Let me put you straight: as actors, I think neither Daniel Radcliffe or Bonnie Wright looked particularly comfortable in their roles. Daniel Radcliffe never has, and I just don't think they FITTED on screen.
Also, Daniel Radcliffe is SHORT.
And tying his shoelaces? wtf?
Ginny hiding the's that going to work for book 7. I trust they've got a wiggle in mind that makes more uncomfortable Harry/Ginny stuffs, like they have to involve her in the battle or something.

WHERE was all my lovely Neville goodness?! He had like one line!!

I think I'm in the minority here, but I really don't like Emma Watson as Hermione. She only seems to have one expression "OMG end of the world! I'm heartbroken" even when her situation isn't that bad.
Despite her limited acting ability, I like the girl herself. She's clever, (Ivy league for uni!) beautiful, rich, funny...gosh I'm jealous.
OH and I loved how her hair was more bushy this time round!
And the her and Ron thing was handled well I feel.

Soo...I guess that's it. But I'm going to be seeing it again tomorrow, so prepare for more. But overall, thus far, I liked it.

Emma x

PS: Ron's hat was awesome.

OTHER PS: I swear Katie Bell is the year above Harry :S

Sunday, 5 July 2009

Christmas Knickers

I appreciate we're nowhere near Christmas right now, although we are nearer to this Christmas than last Christmas.
That's kind of what makes this post so ironic.

So yeah, today I realised that I have not one, not two but FOUR pairs of christmas-themed knickers.

At the bottom of it all, Christmas-knickers are for wearing on Christmas day, right? So what on Earth am I doing with FOUR PAIRS? Its gonna take me 4 years to rotate through them all, one every Christmas.
Unless I wear one pair on Christmas Eve and one on Boxing (boxers :P) day.

Stupid thing is, at least two of them have been bought for me by the same person.
Hell, the person is MY GRANDMA.

Why would I want to wear themed underwear anyway? As a single person (I'm hearing Beyonce right now) you can be sure as hell no-one is going to see them. And its hardly going to make me feel more christmassy.

Ah, the futility of attractive underwear.

On that note, I'm going to try on my new (non-christmas themed!) bra.

Auf wiedersehen, pet.


P.S I googled Christmas Underwear to find a picture for this post and instantly regretted it.

Friday, 3 July 2009

The Little Things

I love my local Indian restaurant, Indian Dream, for many reasons. It's a short walk from my house, for example. The food tastes great and the staff are lovely (although the staff:customer ratio is enormous and there's always about 6 waiters fussing around your table)

But what really makes my Indian Dream experience so awesome is the added extras you get after your meal.

As you've probably guessed by the pic, orange slices is (are?) one of them, about half an orange per person. Apparently it cleanses your palate in preparation for dessert.
After the oranges you're provided with a warm flannel to wipe your hands on...I'm not sure how vulgar it is considered to wipe your mouth with it too, but I do so heigh-ho :)
Then you get after-eights with the bill. I LOVE AFTER EIGHTS. There's usually one each but if I take my adorable little sister we get a few extra ;)
And finally, the complimentary alcohol. For some reason, men get brandy and women get Baileys, which is funny because my Dad can't stand brandy, but he drinks it anyway so he looks manly.
And the waiter people are nice, because they give me Baileys too. I think they know I'm underage, but its nice of them to treat me like an adult. Also, Baileys tastes really, really good.

I think they know our names by now, we order for takeout and go in to eat so often. But y'know, we just don't mind paying the bill so much when they give us little treats to keep us sweet.
Bless them, every one.


Thursday, 2 July 2009

On Aging

Ice age,
Can't complain,
If the world's at large,
Why should I remain?

So here's my theory - as you get older, time goes faster.
In year 7, two weeks till half term was an AGE, but in year 11...hey, we can stop working now!
If we follow the rise...damn, the last 20 years of my life will go FAST.

But on a more serious note...I think I can skew time in my brain to make me feel better about things. So I could think of myself as not even being halfway through my work experience, instead I'm thinking...6 days of work left. I can deal with that.


Gosh. I hate stress.


Anybody waiting with bated breath for today's lunchtime musings...there were none. I fell asleep in the park and got sunburnt. Wahey.

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Miscellaneous from the Shopping Centre

Soo...I'm on work experience atm. And my lunch hour is like, so much longer than it needs to be. And many small thoughts come to my mind.

So here they are.

1. What on earth is the point in revolving doors?
Sure, they're automatic, but so are the slidey ones, and they force the unfortunate user to walk in a loooooong big circle. Walk too fast, and they'll shudder to a halt and you're left panicking about losing air till they start again. Walk too slow and you crash into the one behind. And such a waste of electricity when they're less useful than push-open doors.
Revolving doors are, therefore, completely pointless.

2. This one is more of an amusing anecdote. You know how in ordinary toilets, there are always mirrors above the sinks? So you come out of the loo, scrub your hands and, whilst doing that, check your hair and face in the mirror.
Well in the Touchwood loos, there are no mirrors, and it always gives me a shock to look up and realise there's a stranger staring back. If you watch other people its quite amusing, too.

3. I like how all the music from the different shop doors floats together and creates mall-music, which is all the same.

Well, that's all for now.
Just today's lunchtime musings.

Emma x

Sunday, 28 June 2009


So here's the deal. As alot of you know, Microsoft are donating 8 meals to America's homeless people for every download of Internet Explorer 8.
(If you don't know, go to
Which is a worthy cause, ofc.
But I'm a Firefox user, in fact I love Firefox. And my wretched old computer probably will take like, an hour to download IE8.

Its a nasty tactic, isn't it? Moral blackmail, they're getting kind of desperate. That's partly why I'm hesitating about downloading it, because its like letting the baddies win in a film. If say, the Labour party (or Conservatives, BNP, Lib Dem, whatever) said HEY! We save an orphan in Africa every time you vote!
That would be slammed into the ground! If Microsoft can afford to feed homeless people, surely they should? Which proves, at least, that they don't give a damn about actually helping the people, just getting more downloads.
Gah, stupid corporate machines.

To download, or not to download?

Emma xo

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Just for lolz.

Sitting on my own in this shit-tip of a house, my pyjamas on (inside out) starving but too lazy to get any food...this made me laugh until I cried.

Maybe I just have a terrible sense of humour, idk.

Longer blog later (prom wsa last night) when I get the pics up.

Monday, 22 June 2009

And I Went Down To London Towne

I went down to London town
To have a little fun in the underground
All the Ladies turned their heads around, saying,
"Donald, where ARE your trousers?"

Its a great song :) But anyway, the purpose of this blog: I did in fact go down to London town this weekend. This is what I would call a report on the funtimes I had.


My Dad decided (on a whim, it would seem) to take part in this year's London to Brighton Cycle, which is 54 miles long.

Which I'm sure he enjoyed immensely. We recruited another family, the Evans/Wood tribe, to provide some company on the trip. Just Martin, mind.
This left me, my sister Louise, my mom, Martin's wife Carol and Carol's son Nick with a weekend to plan!

The Plan

Saturday morning - leave Solihull and drive down to London
Saturday - London. Shopping. Of course.
Saturday night - Overnight stay in Martin's brother's apartment.

Sunday morning - The boys leave for the start line. The rest of us leave for Brighton.
Sunday - Brighton.

Sunday was also my birthday :)


Let's face it, we're all London veterans by now...the usual touristy stuff was expensive and unneccessary, and we'd done Oxford Street. So we decided to centre our London jaunt around Convent Garden, which is possibly my favourite place on Earth. This is the main entrance:

Inside and outside this are mostly restaurants, which are heinously expensive (even for 'London prices') but very vibey...there's street performers all over the place and its busy. The day we went, there was this old Chinese man on some sort of wind instrument which was awesome. We didn't stick around there long though, there's shops to be had!
Anyway, the point I'm making about central London, is that its so very multi-vibey that I could just float there all day, people watching. If you want to get anywhere, or get anything done, its crap. But for the amiable tourist like me, it was great.

I get a kick out of being anonymous anyway.

Whilst I'm talking about London, I'm just going to mention the awesomeness that is the Tube system.

* Note - this is an empty Tube, which is a rare occurance. In fact, I'd say it had never happened before ever.

I'm going to take this opportunity to tell you that I LOVE THE TUBE. People find me weird. They think its ridiculous that I love such a dirty, busy, unreliable service, full of random hobos and scary people.

Firstly, I have love for random hobos.
But seriously, tubes are brilliant. My all-day ticket cost one pound, which got me from clapham, to bank, to holborn, to bank, to clapham and everywhere else I needed to go, and I never waited m
ore than 5 minutes for a tube. I actually heard some girl complaining that she'd have to wait 8 minutes for her train - seriously, on a bus service that's like speed-service! I don't complain if I have to wait like, half an hour for a bus. But on a tube, you're on and off like magic.
On the way home (home being the Clapham place we stayed) there were these people with flowers in their hair, they smelt good.
I also quite enjoyed trying to get the 7 of us into a clearly full train compartment, that was fun.
So yeah, I like the tube.

Anyway, moving on to part 2:

Isn't it pretty?

Sadly, we didn't get to spend much time in Brighton. Why?

TRAFFIC. I hate traffic. I spent 6 hours of my birthday in a car :( In fact...let's review:

Yeah, that was a fun birthday.
But hey, the weather was good.

Well...I hope you enjoyed that.

Emma x

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

A Little Apology

Sorry to anyone who might be offended by the bad language in my last post.
It was probably inappropriate, but I really do hate the BNP :D
Also, sorry if its not really comprehensible...meh, when I'm ranting, I'm ranting. You know how it is.


Monday, 8 June 2009

Idiotic Goddamn Idiots

EU elections this weekend, as I'm sure most of you knew? The BNP gained 2 seats in this election, and here indeed is my rant.

Man on the telly just now, when asked why he voted BNP : "Well, they're taking all our jobs, aren't they? People can't get jobs 'cause foreigners are taking them all."

As a general rule, I fucking hate people who blame their failure on other people, other factors. Even age. The phrase "I'm only 16" makes me want to hurl. You know what? WORK HARDER. BE BETTER. Not a fucking clue, have you? You think these so called 'aliens' are being hired by workers just to spite you? No. They're being hired because a) they'll accept low pay or b) they're a better candidate.
And if you're willing to accept low pay, bad conditions, then sure, they're taking your jobs. But as it is...I bet if you were in a crap job you'd be blaming it on the immigrants too, right?
Instead of wasting your time and your vote in poisonous thoughts, why don't you better yourself? Get some new skills, buck up your ideas. Then any other candidate for a job can't beat you, regardless of race or anything else.
You want women and Jews out of their jobs too, like Hitler, is that what it is? Never forget, before WWII women hardly ever had a job. When they started working to help the war effort, men were worried they wouldn't be able to find jobs.
Have you ever been worried that all the women are taking your jobs?
As to employees hitting 'targets' regarding minority employment...bollocks. Bollocksbollocksbollocks. How often does this genuinely happen? You can bring about your own racism suit there, if you want. And what sane employee would reject a better candidate to hit a target? Is that really a company you want to be in.

Yes, I can be optimistic about the world, and yes sometimes my views are wrong. Maybe there are points for argument above (I picked out a few myself) but I like to think that maybe, just maybe, its not just the immigrant population that is pouring our country. Its fucking idiots like you that vote BNP.

End Rant.


Friday, 5 June 2009

Minor Rant

Well, I've just finished reading a Flash sequence from the point of view of a religious person. And seeing as the feedback form was completely is my response.

In essence, the entire 'booklet' had one main message - "Put your Trust in Jesus." It emphasised that we are all sinners and that praying won't help, living a good life won't help because we've 'all sinned at some point' so we are essentially condemned, all you can do is put your trust in Jesus. So here's my question?

How exactly does one put one's trust in Jesus?

Do you send out a little message - "Hey God, just to let you know I'm trusting Jesus now. Thanks a bunch, Jeff."
Is there an official process for declaring one's trust?
Or what, you lose your family in an earthquake and you just believe Jesus has let's trust Jesus that this was the right course!

More dangerously, the article emphasised putting trust only in Jesus. It advocates NOT putting your trust in Doctors. Exact quote:

"We trust in doctors because they can provide for our bodies. But how much more should we trust in the one who created our bodies...even yours? People try to tell a lie that there are things in this life more valuable than God. Following that lie keeps us from trusting Christ alone to make us right in God's sight."

Does it even need explanation, really? Okay, so let's say God did create us (not a personal belief of mine, but whatever,) why should that mean we trust in Him to heal us? When there are mundane treatments that we KNOW will?

To summarise, because it's late and I'm not making much sense any more, this leaflet:
a) gives vague and incomprehensible advice that just sounds like repeating an indoctrinated mantra.
b) turns completely away from common sense. To quote some religious person, "logic is the enemy of faith."

I appreciate that the vast, vast majority of the religious world aren't like that....or at least aren't so forcible in making the rest of us believe it. But seriously. Blah.


Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Dream Updates

I mentioned the bad dreams, right?

New ones:

1) I dreamt I was at a Geography exam. And then all my black pens broke. I don't take Geography. Woke up sweating.

2) At school. Hadn't done my drama practical (which I actually did about 2 months ago) which would be like, my worst nightmare ever.

More importantly, exams finish next week. Roll on 12 weeks of summer, eh?

Saturday, 16 May 2009

The worst moment of my life

It was a stupid argument. I wound up my little sister (13, she's not that little) when she was tired, and as often happens, she let herself get wound up and whacked me around the head, then stormed into the kitchen.

Lets be honest, that's normal morning fare for me and my sister. She's usually over it by the time I get home. But today, I'm assuming my Dad was pretty tired too. So he had a bit of a shout. And that's okay, you can tell he's just on a rare little ego trip, but he hardly ever shouts so when he does its a bit...shocking, I guess. Even I cry when my Dad gets angry with me, because it means you've actually done something wrong.

And I'm sitting here on the floor in the hall, packing my bag with tears streaming down my face, hearing these heart-rending sobs from my sister in the kitchen. And I'm trying to think calculator, pencil case, keys, and my Dad is standing by the door ready to go, and I'm fumbling my stuff and taking ages to pack it and all I can hear is sob, sob, sob.

And then I got up and went to school. And on the way out, even though we've argued, she remembers I've got my first GCSE today and I hear a little "good luck."
We'd all forgotten about it by the time we got home that night, and I guess that's why I love my family. It was still a shitty moment, though.

It was okay. In the end.

Friday, 15 May 2009


I have created,
he said,
I've created a story,
I met a man and I made it so.

I set it on the plains and let it run.

Came out short, whatever.

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Pet peeves in books.

I've been having trouble reading lately. Partly because I spend my evenings memorizing bible quotes, mathematical formulae and random computing definitions. But partly because every book I've started has been awful, with my pet peeves littered about like...early morning snow, or something.
HMM, a list, Watson? I think so.

1. Bad names. A big example of this is Lord Loss (and the rest of the books, which I haven't read) by Darren Shan, where the children are called Gretel and Grubb. This guy Grubb is the main character. What a stupid name. Similarly in the doghouse are badly spelt names, or complete white trash - Krystle, Heaven, Ee-in Dooncyn Smythz...I'm looking at you.
Bizarre names, to me...they just say "LOOK AT ME, I'M DIFFERENT." Try to be...more subtle. Make the character different instead of the name, I don't know.

2. American writers (or English ones, for that matter,) who write posh English characters in historical fiction...really badly. The book I'm reading at the moment, idk what it's called, is a victim of this. It's all "I sore missed my veritable father Hubert, i felt decades had passed since we'd sat in Picadilly together." Read some books written around the time, PLEASE. NO-ONE SOUNDS LIKE THAT.

3. People who write books I could write. I mean, I like to write. I credit myself that, at my best, I'm not a terrible writer, although my commitment leaves alot to be desired. But when I see books that are like my (unedited for readability, structure, pace, sentences that sound like a 5 year old composed them) first drafts, and I'm like really? You thought that was finished? I may be something of a perfectionist, but that's by the by.

4. MARY FUCKING SUES. And I don't mean textbook M-S...just Mary Sue elements in a book. Anything that suggests a character is modelled after the author. So...a character who likes to write. A character that name drops a single band when "listening to music" would do. A character who reads specifically Jane Austen. A character who always puts on her left sock first, and notes it down. Somewhere this definately comes into play is Twilight...Bella likes certain bands that Meyer likes, and in an interview Bella is described as, to paraphrase...slender but not athletic, with the lower lip slightly fuller than the upper, of average height, brown hair...she also moves to a new school and recieves a lot of interest, despite her percieved normalness, something Meyer has actually
said happened to her:
"Then I went to college in Provo, Utah. Let me tell you, my stock went
through the roof. See, beauty is a lot more subjective than you might think. In Scottsdale, surrounded by barbies, I was about a five. In Provo, surrounded by normal people, I was more like an eight. I had dates every weekend with lots of really pretty and intelligent boys (some of whose names end up in my books)"
"In my head, Bella is very fair-skinned, with long, straight, dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. Her face is heart-shaped—a wide forehead with a widow's peak, large, wide-spaced eyes, prominent cheekbones, and then a thin nose and a narrow jaw with a pointed chin. Her lips are a little out of proportion, a bit too full for her jaw line. "
The lips get me.

Maybe I've elaborated too far on that point, but you get what I'm saying. Just try being a leeeetle but more imaginative and making up a new character instead.

5. Uber description of every tiny detail in a scene. Just an overview, and a little bit of detail for atmosphere if you MUST. Look, I get bored easily, okay? Tailor yourself to your low IQ, easily distracted, ADHD suffering audience and WRITE SNAPPY. Please? it wasn't a long list. But you get the point, right? How do really bad books get published and WHYWHYWHY must I have SO MANY peeves?

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

You know you're in exam period when...

You start having freaky stress dreams.

Last night, I accidentally got onto a ship that was already sinking. And then I couldn't get out because the pressure was too great.
AND THEN I DIED. You aren't supposed to die in dreams :(

And then a cat killed a rabbit, and I scared it off, and it started talking to me blahblah and it was scary because the cat killed the rabbit. But I think the stress dream had moved on by that point seeing as it's just gibberish :)

At any rate, here I am, one GCSE down, with the next two days off. I'm going to cram for the two modules of my Computing AS level on Friday.

But back to the dreams, maybe it's because I'm getting VERY good at controlling my emotions. As in, I can control my panic and terror and whatnot and just be calm. An outlet, if you will.


Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Just to see what it looks like.

Circle I Limbo

PETA Members
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

George Bush
Circle IV Rolling Weights

General asshats
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Militant Vegans
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Circle VII Burning Sands

Saddam Hussein
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

PS...Longer post later :D

Saturday, 4 April 2009

Reasons I love my Friends

reasons I love my friends.

Seeing as I'm winging it, I haven't quite decided how many yet.


1. When we get together, we can eat as much as we like. 3 bowls of popcorn and a batch of pancakes later, no-one is ashamed to ask for another marshmallow.
2. We all know where the knives/forks/glasses are. If we want a drink, we go get one. We get the ketchup if we need it.
3. We have in jokes...with each other's siblings. Seriously, the other night my friend and my sister were playing badminton together. My sister also gets invited out with me when we go out in the holidays, because my friends know she'll be bored home alone.
4. We still adhere to the primary school issues around admitting friendship. Who's my best friend? I have lots of best friends, of course!
Well, wouldn't want to offend anybody, would I?
5. We know each other's nerdy friends know I read fanfiction and watch Torchwood avidly. They don't mind, just like I don't mind Anon's bizarre opinions on lesbians.
6. We watch the same tv shows(mostly), read the same books, listen to (some of) the same music, but at the same time we have vastly different views on hip hop and Harry Potter.
7. We have things we do. Like, I'll wait for my friends after Maths and French, but not English. And that's not weird. We buy breakfast ONLY if they're selling waffles. And we buy lunch on a Friday.
8. We have pizza nights. As far as I'm concerned, that's a prerequisite for a decent friendship.
9. We have a clique name which we all claim to despise but secretly love. Its "the Blondes" if your interested, although I am quite firmly 4/6 of us, actually. Its either because we're white, lack common sense or...some other reason. Depends who you ask.
10. Every single one of us...except me, actually...has faced some horrible crappy scenario in their life. There's been a pregnancy scare, two major illnesses (one major, one slightly more minor, both ongoing,) a move to Scotland and one who is moving school this year. But still...we're best friends. And that's pretty awesome.