Sunday, 27 May 2012


So...the sun. Don't get me wrong, I am mega okay with the sunny, sunny days we're having at the moment; the impromptu frisbee games, the walks around campus, et cetera. Love me some sunshine.

Unfortunately I also started Job #2 yesterday, at York Racecourse. Which is great: it's money, plus it's only sort of every other weekend during the summer, meaning I can spend more time in York (huzzah!) without angering my parents (huzzah!) and earn some dollar to pay the rent before my loan goes in (SERIOUS HUZZAH OF RELIEF.)
Yesterday I was put on table service, which involved me wandering around in the sunshine offering jugs of Pimms and bottles of champagne to Very Rich People. Who tip like Scrooge, by the way. More importantly though, I was not aware I was going to be outside, so no suncream. Also no chairs to sit on, so I literally went 12 hours without sitting down. Result: today I have the face of a red tomato, and I'm hobbling like an old granny.
Still, money is money. And they pay cash in hand which is the WORLD'S most exciting experience okay.

Aaaaaand also have some blanks, I'm feeling generous. Thanks Lauren!

1.  The best surprise ever would be: is it bad that whilst everyone else seems to be going with a surprise holiday, I was thinking more along the lines of waking up with superpowers. Or discovering I have an evil twin. SOMETHING COOL. I think I watch too much sci-fi.

2.  ...   is my most favourite memory: True fact: sometimes I stalk myself on Facebook, right from the beginning, and I have so many happy memories it makes me want to puke unicorns or something. WAY UP THERE is the warm snuggly feeling I get when I think about a certain picnic in the dark in a bandstand in Chester, but it's one of those things that's *very* difficult to explain.
 3.  The hardest, but most worthwhile thing I've ever done was: apart from not walking out mid-shift yesterday? A Levels, maybe. Freshers Week? It was hard but it's gained me some friends. Oh, I don't know. 

4.  The best part of my day is: about 4pm, or whenever I finish my duties for the day. I can lounge around in a state of undress watching Buffy for a few hours, which is always pleasant.

5. Something I like that most people don't is: working. I'm nuts. But I like the independence of having money much more than having boatloads of free time to waste.

6. Something I am willing to fight for is: I do not get angry easily. The last time I got bone-shakingly, tear down the walls angry was a couple of years ago now, I said the following on a Facebook thread: "It's taking all my restraint not to really let rip at her, I've never been properly mean to someone before but there is so much VENOM in me right now I could destroy her, I mean actually destroy her into a thousand tiny pieces and then sweep them into the drain and let them mingle with the sewage and then burn the sewage and then i don't even KNOW how I could take that metaphor any further." 
So I suppose when people betray my trust I am willing to fight my corner. Also to clarify I did mean "destroy" though the power of words rather than literally. I would also fight to the death for my friends and family, but I suppose that's a given?

7.  Something you might not know about me is uh, guys? This is my blog. I kind of tell you people everything? Although I've just been reading my leaver's notebook on a whim and here is some rules I gave myself then, that's an interesting thing. Please note that they were written when I was feeling EXTREMELY emotional at the end of my school career hence the mild cheesiness.

1) Be proud, always be proud, of who you are
2) Ignore the barriers. You are not alone. You are never ever alone. PEOPLE LOVE YOU.
3) Life consists of beautiful golden shimmering moments. Use them.
4) Relax. Roll with the punches. Que sera sera. The world's your oyster.

THERE, wasn't that fun new and exciting? Have a lovely week!

Emma x

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Getting Pixellated

So I just read this article about the etiquette of virtual the article in question, the author's friend had just died and he didn't know whether or not it was appropriate to attend the funeral, having never actually met him in person nor even seen a picture of his face.

Which is intriguing, I feel. It's no secret that I have a lot of online friends, mostly from the wonderful Fuck This...I'm Going To Hogwarts. I joined the group on Feb 1st 2008, which means I've been a member for over four years and I've known these people longer than any of my Uni friends, and a significant portion of my friends from home too.

Would I go to their funerals, though? Depends on the person. Unfortunately most of my closest friends on that site are from a million miles away, so practically it's an impossibility. If they were closer? I think I probably would, and I know a lot of people who would.

Friendship is subjective...these people aren't my best friends ever, and they can't be: we never meet, we don't have shared experiences and our communication is limited to hours spent online. But we do share our trials and tribulations, rejoice in our triumphs, commiserate with each other when things get hard, and occasionally have long drunken conversations which make no sense.

Rather than being best friends, I'd say we're the kind of people who you have a little chat with every time you meet; you don't really see each other out of school/work/whatevs but if they died? You'd go to a friendly acquaintance's funeral, right?

The internet offers a whole new set of paradigms and boundaries but I do think they're comparable to "normal" friendships. So internet friends? If any of you see fit to die within the four walls of this country, you can count on me to attend your funeral.

Which I'm sure is a very comforting thought indeed.

Friday, 18 May 2012

No-one's in the kitchen with heimlich...

Title irrelevant. Please disregard.

Anyway, I've eaten so many doritos that I feel a bit sick, have finally finished lectures, am actually earning money and am nearly prepared for my exams! Call that a situation update. Here are some blanks.

Courtesy of Lauren at The Little Things We Do!

1.  Something that is very near and dear to my heart is: the lovely people I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by every day...friends and family alike. I like to think I could live without people on a regular basis, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to.

2.   Today: It's Friday! Meaning I have just two measly contact hours left before the weekend. Of course, I'll be spending my weekend revising but that Friday feeling never really goes away, does it?

3.  The most fun I ever had was: This is an obscenely difficult question that I don't think I could truly answer...I've had so many wonderful (and yet instantly forgettable) moments in my life. They don't mean anything in the grand scheme of things but I wouldn't change them for the world.

4.  True friends are: the ones who you can come back to after months of absence and nothing will change at all. Who know what you're thinking and what your reaction will be to things. Who you have years of history with. I love, love, love my uni friends to bits but for me, proper friendship will always be built on time spent together; you start to know each other too well to *not* love each other. I look forward to the day when I can include all my new friends in that category.

5. Something that makes me terribly happy is: this song:

and this song:

I like a lot of music, but these two songs make me incapable of doing anything except jigging around like a drunken idiot with a massive smile on my face. Instant mood lift.

6. A good way to spend a sunny day is: sat in a park with a few cold cans of something (alcoholic or no), some fruit and good company. Ain't no better way to spend a day!

7.  My favorite celebratory food is: if I'm a) celebrating or b) I've had a terrible day, I treat myself to a Thornton's Viennese Truffle Bar. They're ridiculously expensive at 79p for quite a small bar, but SO worth it. They're like...creamy and truffle-y and rich on the inside, and hard and chocolatey on the outside. NOM. I wouldn't want to have more than one every so often because they're so decadent, but holy hell they're good. I have to stop myself making awkward noises of satisfaction whenever I eat one.

Baby, you're beautiful. Never change.

Peace out, bitches. I think I need to go buy myself a chocolate bar.

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Dear Auntie Emma Part Two

Remember ages ago, when I posted about how I attract people having an emotion like a magnet when I'm drunk?'s here if you've forgotten :D

I've pretty much worked out that that's because I ask them but it KEEPS HAPPENING. Last night, I started off with one drunk rambler...which was fine, she talks a lot when we're drunk and she's definitely going through some issues at the moment. And then I spoke with my future housemate. Which is cool except I barely know him...we don't really talk as much as the rest of our house and the main reason he's living with us is because his girlfriend is living in the other house of our group and that could get kind of awk. We had a very long chat about pretty much everything, he cried a lot which is odd because he's the stoic sort.

Turns out we're actually pretty similar people, which kind of explains why we're not friends. But I guess we are friends now.

Also I lost my ID and my campus card and like, 15 quid which is NOT COOL AT ALL.

I'm  unsure where I'm going with this. But it was weird. And there's an update.

Monday, 7 May 2012


I know. I'm a bad person who does blanks too often and doesn't properly blog enough.

Thanks as always to Lauren for the blanks!

1.  My bedtime routine includes: saying goodnight to my flatmates, showering, brushing my teeth, watching a few episodes of Buffy or Community, doing a lot of fucking around on the internet, a last minute rush to skim my reading and then, finally, spending much too long trying to fall asleep despite the fact that it's the early hours because MY BODY HATES ME.

Which is okay at the moment because I don't have many early classes so I make up the sleep then. But I have 9AM exams which are going to be VERY interesting.

2.   I am really happy lately. Remember my uber-stressy post from a few months ago? And the random panicky posts that kept popping up? I was in a not-good place. Now I'm in a good place. There is no rhyme or reason behind this. I'm just in a good place.
Even though academically I am STRESSED AS HELL, working two jobs, having twice as much work to do for my modules PLUS exams PLUS suddenly forgetting all the French I know.
But academic pressure is kind of my default after A-Levels so we're all good in that department.

3.  I can't stand milk because I've hated it since I was a little kid. It smells funny, the texture is horrible and it's just a vomity substance in general.

4. My idea of relaxation would be it has to be a foreign holiday, no internet, no TV, no phones, just beaches, books, good food and (optionally) good company. Even if I'm not particularly busy, my mind likes to find things to worry about, and the only time this doesn't happen is when I'm on holiday - a couple of weeks a year I just write-off as "free time" and organise around. Feels good. It's one of the reasons I'm determined to get a good enough job so I can afford these things in the future.

5. If I had an extra $50, I would: I'd like to say something useful...but I'd have to save it for the financially dry months this summer, so I can have good times and do good stuff without hitting the dark depths of my overdraft limit too hard.

6. The best thing about a bloggy friend is: *awkward turtles* I used to have a few regular commenters, but you all seem to have disappeared during my long "it's Freshers and I've been drunk for two weeks straight!" hiatus. It's cool. This blog is boring. It's nice to have an outlet though.

7.  A recipe I've been dying to try is: oh God, so many! When I'm hungry I ward off hunger pangs by googling recipes all the time to try out...most of the time I end up cooking them though! I've been looking up vodka lemon slushie recipes for a while now though. Itching for the weather to get better so I can try them!

And on to Round seems I'm rather wordy this evening! 

1.  When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is: press the snooze button until it's ten minutes before I have to leave...then leap out of bed, clean my teeth whilst checking my Facebook, get dressed, locate my books and dash off to lectures! On a good day, anyway. If I don't have lectures, I'll get up around lunchtime, brush my teeth, make some lunch and then watch some Buffy. I'm a busy bee.

2.   I can hardly wait for: so many things! My first proper shift at Job 1 on Wednesday. Finishing my exams. The Hay Literature Festival in early June. Introducing my uni friend to my family and my dog when she comes to stay the week after that. My first music festival this summer. Potential cross-country hopping to visit uni friends once we break up. Even Christmas!

3.  The quickest way to my heart is just being nice because there are too many sucky people on the planet.
Also free food would be good.

4. A little known fact about me is that: I'm actually spiderman.

5. The best part about my job is: Erm...I'll let you know when I start it! Having done a couple of training shifts, I can confirm that I'm mostly just not content if I'm not working. SO THERE.

6. Something I just couldn't live without is: My duvet. There's nothing better than snuggling up at the end of a long day...or in the middle of it if you're so inclined.

7.  Something useful that I wish I knew how to do is: sports! I'm rubbish at all of them and it sucks when, say, you're playing frisbee in the park and you can't actually take part because you can neither throw nor catch it. Plus keeping fit would be much easier if I had a sport to play.

RIGHT SO plenty of blanks filled in there! I hope everyone has a delicious week filled with surprises and also plenty of sleep.


Saturday, 5 May 2012

Feminism...and things.


I don't know if I've mentioned it before here (probably) but I'm an English Lit student. This is relevant because it means we don't explicitly study the evolution of, and the tenets of, feminism. However, we do spend a lot of time analysing texts for feminist angles. You might be forgiven for thinking that, on average, the students of my course might be better informed than say, a bunch of physics undergrads.

"Stand up if you consider yourself a feminist."

Which is why I was a little shocked when, in an "exercise of conciousness" at the beginning of today's lecture, only about half of the Lit undergrads in my year admitted to being feminists. And of that half, I would say the majority who didn't stand up were male.

It reminded me of an event in Fresher's, in which, during a conversation with a (generally open-minded and not douche-y) male neighbour, the phrase - "oh, I thought feminism meant you (women) all wanted control or something."

LE WHAT. How are people in what is now the THIRD WAVE of feminism still incapable of understanding the concept of gender equality? I know the name is misleading, but the term "gender studies" tends to get used academically nowadays and the misconception still stands. Sadly, it makes me reluctant to say "yes, I am a feminist" because the word instantly conjures up images of crazy power dressers with hairy legs and a helluva lot of man hate. Part of me thinks that perhaps people just switch off when they hear gender mentioned at all. Sure, it's not the all-pervading concern of say, the Victorian era but it's certainly still an underlying (and pretty much invisible) issue today, both in societies that nominally have gender equality, and societies which don't.


Where's my life at? My life currently revolves around cocktail-Fridays-on-a-Saturday, not doing my reading, and continuing my filmic education.
We went to see The Avengers on Wednesday (can you say PERFECT?) which was nice, but which revealed a gaping hole in my film CV - of all the Avengers, I've only seen Thor. So we've added Iron Man, Iron Man II, The Incredible Hulk and Captain America to the list.

Right at the beginning of Fresher's we very quickly discovered that I was lacking in film knowledge. The revelation that I hadn't seen Star Wars caused a buzz. The discovery that I hadn't seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy? There was swooning, fainting, screaming and crying.

Okay, so I exaggerate slightly but the reaction was not a positive one. Result? Since joining uni, I've watched...

All three Lord of the Rings films (extended editions)
All six Star Wars films
Fight Club
The Matrix
and a few more that are less classy.

Oh, and I've also watched 78 hour-long episodes of Buffy since Christmas.
And 69 episodes of Doctor Who. Which I'd already seen but again, since Christmas.

So er...that degree of mine?!