Tuesday, 31 August 2010


So as I touched on yesterday, I'm doing a 15-day handwriting challenge that I ripped from Tumblr...for those of you unfamiliar to howevermany-day challenges, they basically keep the blogger entertained for a month whilst also boring readers to tears. The concept's pretty simple. I expect you'll understand.
So! Here is the challenge:

Day 1- What do you think of your handwriting?
Day 2- Handwrite your tumblr name alongside your real name, take a pic
Day 3- Handwrite your favorite quote
Day 4- Handwrite your bestfriends name
Day 5- Do you prefer printing or handwriting? Whats your opinion between the two
Day 6- Handwrite your favorite song/ song quote
Day 7- Handwrite whatever you want with a blue/red pen
Day 8- Handwrite your worst pet peeve
Day 9- Handwrite something that always catches your attention
Day 10- Handwrite all the websistes you’re updated with.
Day 11- Handwrite your name using your left/right hand, opposite of what you normally use.
Day 12- Try writing about how your handwriting can define you or not
Day 13- Handwrite your tumblr crushes
Day 14- Handwrite “Hello”
Day 15- Handwrite whatever you want and use different colored pens filling up the whole piece of paper.

Okay? So here's day one:

So there we go. The beginning of a beautiful fortnight's adventure!

Monday, 30 August 2010

Things that might interest you about the coming few months.

1) I'm (probably) going to take part in a 30 day handwriting challenge. The kind of crap you see on Tumblr all the time but I don't want to clog up my dashboard plus I'm not nearly regular enough on this blog.
2) I'm going on a diet. I know this is going to sound silly given my OMG GUYS blant (blog-rant!) of a few days ago but I am in control of my body and I have put on a few pounds over the vacays...so you might hear a few details of that.

So that's a little preview of a few things that will be upcoming. Meanwhile, today I worked, because it was Bank Holiday Monday which means time-and-a-half and a day's holiday backatcha.

This is what I always think about when I hear Bank Holiday. Because he's Mr Banks. And he works in a bank.
And I'm so bored of my job! I know I've only been in it for 9 months, and I only do it once a week, but the endless monotony of selling stuff is just a killer. So is the awkward interaction with staff. So is being so darn nice to people all the time. Because I like a challenge as much as the next person, and this is just boring.
Not to say that I'm not going to stick at it. They were good enough to give an inexperienced 16 year old a job, they pay me still, they give me nice hours...yeah, I'm lucky. Just bored and lucky.

There was another thing that I was thinking about today...internet privacy. It started in Jilabi's whilst we were googling my Dad. He's a technophobe, hasn't got a Facebook account, only uses the internet for work purposes; but a quick google revealed the existence of my Dad - name, age, name of his wife - on the electoral roll. I can't help but think it's just a small, slightly more underhand step from there to identity fraud. And I'm not really comfortable with that!

Growing up as part of the internet generation, I've wantonly scattered myself across the web - I have a Facebook, a Myspace, a Twitter, a Bebo, a Hi5, a Piczo, a Stardoll, a Tumblr, a DailyBooth, an Elfwood account, and countless other accounts on websites like Amazon, eBay, Paypal, et cetera et cetera et cetera. And that's not even taking into account this blog. A potential employer would just have to tap my name into the almighty Google machine to find me ranting about internet privacy...and periods, and being bored, and all sorts of things. Which means really I should censor myself.

But I don't want to! So...future employer...look away! Stop being nosy please :) I promise I won't defraud you, I'll be on time every day and I'll leave no more than 3 minutes before the end of the working day. Hire me.

That's subliminal messaging for you. I am very punctual.

Wow, I've completely lost track. Oh yeah, it unnerves me to have such a shocking amount of information about myself on the web, but at the same time I like it. When I die, my blog lives on until Google deactivates it. There will be little traces left behind. Millions and billions of people from the past are forgotten snap-diddly, lost in time and confined to a little gravestone in a cemetery and maybe a scribbled line in a census book or something but I'll have my credit card number, pictures of Hitler in bunny ears and a too-long blant to remember me by too :)

And with that bizarre image burned into your mind, I leave you.

Emma xxx

Saturday, 28 August 2010

On change and lizards.

Maybe sometimes, we got it wrong, but it's alright,
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
don't you hesitate.

So it's that time of the year again. As far as change goes, this time of year feels more significant than the actual turn of the year...the seasons change (not that we've had much of a summer this year!) and it's a new year of college, and each year brings new challenges and whatnot. 

So the year in review...what was I? Fresh off the back of 12 A*s and eleven weeks of holiday, in September 2009 I still didn't have a clue. I mean, I knew I could do what I'd already done but I genuinely, genuinely believed I couldn't go any further.

This year I've turned into something new. True, I appear to have lost my old photographic memory (and good lord I miss it) but I've gained so much more! 

I've lost the "I don't have to do it so I won't" mentality. I've learned that talking to people isn't so hard. I've discovered that, at heart, I'm a redhead. I've worked out where my loyalties lie. I've learnt how to work for a living, and that the money is bloody useful. I've learnt that adult fiction is actually better than YA trash, even with the minimal effort that has to be pu tin to read it. I've learnt you can't fake love for something. I've learnt to listen to my own emotions. I've learnt how to keep my head in a crisis and that travelling is an enormous thrill. I've learnt I'm not infallible; my big glaring B in Critical Thinking has seen to that.

So whilst I don't want to count my lizards before they've hatched, I think I've changed for the better this year.

Just a theory.

Emma x

Friday, 27 August 2010

A nice poem,

my father always said, "early to bed and
early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy
and wise."

it was lights out at 8 p.m. in our house
and we were up at dawn to the smell of
coffee, frying bacon and scrambled

my father followed this general routine
for a lifetime and died young, broke,
and, I think, not too

taking note, I rejected his advice and it
became, for me, late to bed and late
to rise.

now, I'm not saying that I've conquered
the world but I've avoided
numberless early traffic jams, bypassed some
common pitfalls
and have met some strange, wonderful

one of whom
myself—someone my father

by Charles Bukowski

I like it, because I like sleeping in late, rejecting the examples of my forefathers and bacon :)

I would really like to live in Paris.

Except in August when there's no Parisiens and it must be boiling, I suck at hot weather.
Ohh don't tempt me!

ANYWAY, it's Friday! I've now seen three episodes of Come Dine With Me in a row, a pitiful juxtaposition to my curly-fries-and-cheese masterpiece. Heart attack on a plate? One for me please, waiter!

I'm going to post later about other things (they're kind of boring and serious so if you prefer me to ramble about cereal and libraries...eh, just shut your eyes and imagine. You know me well enough by now.) And for the moment I'm going to do that thing I've done since time immemorial and Fill in the Blanks! 

For some reason, I REALLY like that picture. It reminds me of those Penguin book cover redesigns that I keep seeing.
These are pretty, if not what I really meant when I googled "penguin books" for a picture.

1. The most adventurous thing I've ever done is: And this is where I get outed! I'm sorry guys, but I'm basically boring. When I think about it...probably knock and run on the Spanish kids in our hotel in Rome. It's juvenile but angry Spanish people, oh my God. Hilarious. Y'see how exciting my life is? That's hardly adventurous, but nevermind. The memory of my friend and I standing in an empty bath, hearts hammering, giggling silently as our teachers came into our friends' room after curfew is enough to keep me going till I get some real kicks.

2. If I were a pair of shoes I would be: I'm going to get a little artistic on this. Worn out trainers, really comfy and battered, the kind you go to when you just want to walk without interference from your feet, but with unicorn stickers on the side and laces made out of spaghetti. Because I can be a little bit weird, but I'm still easygoing.

3. My preferred mode of digital communication is: Facebooking and texting. The latter if it's urgent but Facebook just for convenience - you can lose your phone but most people check Facebook once a day or so, even if they aren't that into it. Plus you can get a message out to more than one person at once more easily.

4. I feel happiest when: Book, music, bed. Nuff said.

5. A little dream I have for my life is: I'm never going to let go of my first job choice. When I grow up, I want to be a writer. Still. After all this time.

6. The one modern convenience I could NOT do without is: I'd say laptop, but actually I need my phone for SO MANY THINGS and there's no substitute for being able to contact people anywhere, any time. Plus notes and alarm clock (Christ, I'd never wake up) and calendar...but I couldn't live without my laptop either. And imagine having no dishwasher, washing machine...argh, thank God for technology.

7. Music, movies, TV or books: if I could only choose one to enjoy I would pick: The old loyalty to the written word still wins out. I think expending a little time and effort into reading a book immerses you more than TV or a movie ever can. And even though I love my music, so much, I could live without it. Life without books would kill me well and truly!

Blanks deblanked, how was your week?

And I guess I'll see you later this eventide.

Emma xxx

Wednesday, 25 August 2010

A little link that turned into a long and kind of uplifting rant.

This post by Galadarling had me pumping the air with my fist going "YEAH BABY! THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!"

Well I didn't, because a) my family would think I'm weird and b) when you make loud noises my dog thinks you're a predator and starts leaping around trying to bite you.

But I agree so badly! I'm sick to death of thinking about what I eat all the time; and I have a healthy attitude to food. Or so I'm told. I wouldn't like to think about what's going through the mind of the rest of you.

Eating disorders are so damaging; it would just be nice to have a healthy, happy attitude as a whole. Don'tcha think?

Here's a fact: I'm 9st10lbs. I have no idea if I'm fat or thin, if I'm healthy or unhealthy, but that's me and I'm not taking it back.

Let me clarify: I didn't post that figure to boast or evoke pity. I'm not joking, I seriously have no idea if that's a good or bad figure for me. Some days I lie in bed feeling my belly thinking "God, I could be pregnant," and some mornings I look in the mirror in my bra and think "hey...that's not so bad." Bottom line? It doesn't matter! I'm happy, and I genuinely believe that's what people see. Not my oddly misshapen nose, on the bad side, or even good things like my boobs or my hair.

It's no coincidence that soon after I realised I wasn't hideously disfigured (and I spent a while thinking that!) people started referring to me in words I never would have used to describe myself. Confident. Bubbly.

I mean BUBBLY, wtf? I've been called bubbly three times over the summer holidays and I cannot begin to tell you how weird that is for me. Because I genuinely saw myself as socially inept, and now I'm starting to think...hey, maybe that can change.

{for credit and more photos from this guy, follow the link! read the post! you know you want to}

Gala's post isn't really anything new. Girls are always going to worry about their weight, and how they look, and how ugly they are. But it reminded me how important it is to enjoy what you eat. So fuck it, I'm gonna go grab a Mars Bar now.

Seriously, am I about to hit a very late growth spurt? Because I am STARVIN' MARVIN.

Emma xo.

PS. Seriously, did I just psychobabble myself into a mars bar??
Remember my long, long rant about Ground Zero? This is basically what I was trying to say:

MOVING ON to my usual terrible choices in the media, I am currently catching up on The Deep, which is a BBC drama set a bazillion miles below the Arctic ice.
It's tense, but bloody hell, it's cheesy.

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Son of Rambow

Today I watched, laughed at and cried at Son of Rambow. Which is a film. Again, all images c/o my Tumblr which are c/o other Tumblrs...enjoy.

First things first, are you aware that Will Poulter (i.e. Lee Carter in the film) is THE SAME AGE AS ME?? That means he was 14 when the film was filmed. He looks older, no?

Anyway, if you're up for a light-hearted but surprisingly profound film for a Sunday afternoon, look no further because Son of Rambow is perfect. Given the plot - two kids decide to film a film, one from an obscure Christian cult and the other a lonely, mischevious miscreant...eh, it looks boring. But it isn't! And that's one of the best things about this film - somehow we're fascinated by their pointless meanderings through Rambo, more so than Will's family troubles, or even Lee's. Well i was, anyway. And the ending! Oh, I cried like a baby. It was so poignantly beautiful - not one of those enormous, earth-shaking revelations but just a simple expression of love between brothers. Ah, it was so lovely.

Also, a happy coincidence when this guy's face popped up on the screen:


Anyway, it's a really good film. 5 stars, recommended and reviewed.

Maybe this has even been my best film of all time.

Emma xxx


Happy birthday,
by the way,
you're sexy.
That's all, see ya later.

Monday, 23 August 2010


I feel like listing things.

1. Falling asleep with the dog lying on your feet after a very long walk.
2. Doing things with your sister that you haven't done since you were young, such as CRAFTING and making up dances.
3. Shouting at the screen when Dragon's Den is on. NO, INVEST! INVEST!!
4. Getting lost in a book of Wilfred Owen's war poems and writing more post-its than you thought was possible.
5. It raining. Going out in shorts anyway, because hey! it's warm out!

Anyway, have I had a ramble about Wilfred Owen yet?
Probably not, and if not, hey, let's have another one!

Basically, my summer work (other than my library volunteering and y'know, my work work. God I'm extracurricular,) MY SUMMER WORK was an extended project on the effect of the Great War on literature. For many reasons, none of which I'll go into now.

But for that, I've been doing a lot of research into the life of Wilfred Owen, war poet and soldier. And he's sort of inspirational, just for the reason that he was basically your ordinary, slightly selfish bloke. Did you know he sat out the first half of the war in France? What he said exactly was something along the lines of "Better a live poet than a dead soldier." Which is hardly the action of a noble hero. But that was almost his thing, as a poet. There are no heroes, only soldiers slogging it out in the trenches.

So I found it all fascinating. And his poetry (some of it. some of it I like less than others) is also particularly wow. I've put Futility below because it's very pretty, but most of his stuff is much more harrowing. So I'd recommend you check it out!

Move him into the sun -
Gently its touch awoke him once,
At home, whispering of fields unsown.
Always it woke him, even in France,
Until this morning and this snow.
If anything might rouse him now
The kind old sun will know.
Think how it wakes the seeds, -
Woke, once, the clays of a cold star.
Are limbs, so dear-achieved, are sides,
Full-nerved -still warm -too hard to stir?
Was it for this the clay grew tall?
- O what made fatuous sunbeams toil
To break earth's sleep at all?

Sunday, 22 August 2010


I can't remember why I said that. Never mind.

Anyway, today I had fun times with Chubbly Charlie, and his little sister Izzy. They are adorable. But exhausting!
And they made me realise that I'm not really...the kiddie type. Y'know? I mean, I don't actually get much fulfillment out of massaging the ego of four year-olds; I don't think I'd even enjoy watching them get big and walking and talking or anything.

That said, I had no interest in dogs until I got one...and I love mine to bits now, in fact I love most dogs now.

Bottom line, hey, let's wait and see.

Emma x

Friday, 20 August 2010

It would seem,

That I am now a follower of my own blog.
That's cool because it means I can see how my blog looks in Google Reader.

Secondly, my dog is asleep on my feet.

My webcam faffing woke her up, but you get the point. Her face is so expressive, I love that.
Anyway, I've been a little short on posts this week. Sorry. Nothing's really happened :) but here's Fill In the Blank Friday to make up for everything :)

1. My favorite current TV show is: Sherlock on BBC. I know it was only a 3 episode pilot, but it does fine for me eccentric-and-oddly-attractive-man fix whilst Dr Who is off air. And it's awesome as well. And Tumblr loves it. So plenty to reblog.
2. The TV character I can relate to most is: My sister shouts "SHELDON" but I disagree. Some bumbling fool with her nose in a book I guess.
3. My life is like (fill in with TV show and why)...: Outnumbered, because we're hilariously disfunctional as a family. Although we're a bit older than Karen and Ben.
4. My all time favorite TV show is: Such a hard question. I'm going to have to be a nerd and say Torchwood. DRAMADRAMA.
5. A TV show that is ridiculously stupid, but I continue to watch is: Britain and/or America's Next Top Model. They're utter reality tv fodder; oh and they're awesome. Also Charmed still entertains me when it's on. Oh and Dating in the Dark which is exactly what it says on the tin and is pretty hilarious.
6. My favorite TV couple is: Amy and Rory from Dr Who, Finn and Rachel from Glee (they're cute. I don't care if it's cliche)
7. One TV episode I could watch over and over again is: Not only do I not know the answer to this, I've lost the will to think. Sorry fellaz :)

Have a nice week!

Emma x

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

Things that are keeping me busy.

Turning this ^ into a bedroom that I wouldn't be ashamed to bring friends home to. It might interest you to hear that this photo was taken AFTER the initial tidy-up. And the initial tidy-up took two or three hours by itself. Phase one, emptying the room of its crap, is however nearly finished and soon the fun part can start!! I'm looking forward to buying paint, and new furniture and the like.

I've also hit a nice vein of writing efficiency, fiction-wise. So I'm burning the midnight oil in order to get some words down on paper and set me in good stead for when college starts again. Because if I feel busy now, that's nothing compared to how I'll feel with this, PLUS schoolwork. Although something tells me college will be different this year; its the last of seven years in the same place and I feel like it's our final swansong as a year.

So yeah. I feel busy.

What's keeping you busy at the moment?

Monday, 16 August 2010

Coming into your town, wading into your debates, getting on your wick.

Firstly, a small niggle: I have four best friends and none of them are closer than a three hour drive away right now. Talk about unfair.

Anyway, in their absence I've had a lot of time spare to wander the internet, and one thing that's come to light is this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-10846716

If you're not into following external links, that's the BBC news article on the proposed mosque near Ground Zero in New York.
Typically, there seems to have been a rather fiery response to this, which is fair enough. The ability to get fired up about something is good, I love and respect passionate people but seriously? I think this might be something of an overreaction. Yes, it's an unusual decision to stick a mosque there, but I think it would be a tribute to the way tolerance has evolved despite 9/11. Even a catastrophic event like that- I was eight years old and it was a country many miles away, but even I can remember being shocked - can't knock the gradual evolution of the world towards religious de-segregation and a diverse planet earth.
Which is why it's such a shame that certain people immediately viewed the mosque as a negative symbol; probably dominance of Islam over New York. Which is bollocks, really. If you're looking for Islamic domination, baby, come to Birmingham :P
(That was a totally inappropriate joke, I'm sorry.)

Another reason I disagree with the protesters is probably the obvious one - conflation of Islam as a religion and Islamic extremism. It's been reiterated time and time again: whilst many terrorists are Muslim, not all Muslims are terrorists. I fail to see the use in going over it again, but clearly the message hasn't quite sunk in.

And yeah, I know the argument has been worded differently. It's not the fact that its a mosque per se, it's the fact that this will upset survivors and family and it's an insensitive decision.
Is it really, though? I get the feeling that many of these critics would be up in arms wherever the mosque was sited; the proximity to Ground Zero might quantify their protests but it doesn't neccessarily describe their source.
Obviously that's a guess. What do I know about American politics, jack all is what.

The bottom line for me is this: it's irrelevant whether or not the decision to build a mosque in such a sensitive area is a right decision, morally. Either way, protesters should be taking steps towards a more peaceful and safer future; and that means greater religious tolerance from all sides. Can I suggest we take one for the team?

Emma x

Saturday, 14 August 2010

Okay, I'm ready. [Inception spoilers ahead]

I've been thinking through Inception for three days now, and I think I'm finally ready to write it out! All pictures are c/o my Tumblr, meltedthedashboard and the original sources are all on there should you want them!

 Inception. Really, where do I start? I suppose the thing that stood out for me was the way that yeah, it could have been cliche. The characters were a little overdone; on paper the plot is terrible. (It's about these guys who go into dreams and steal things! I wrote a similar book when I was twelve, it was called Rainbow Dreams and it was freaking awesome.)
But the beautiful fact was, Inception wasn't cliche. I walked out thinking wow, that was good. I didn't even due my usual in-film analysis; "that's been done before...seen that...God, that was terrible."
I just got wrapped up in the film. For me, that's pretty unusual.
But did the top fall? That's the question. I've heard mucho speculation on the subject. I genuinely don't care: Cobb obviously sorted out his issues with Mal in that speech in Limbo, so wherever he is it's the right place. Whether that's the 'real' world or not doesn't matter.
Whilst I'm on the subject of Cobb, I reckon its a tribute to Leonardo DiCaprio's acting skills that I actually sympathised with him. I felt like his character had lots of different angles. I distinctly remember thinking that in the cinema. What the angles were escapes me now, but never mind.
And here's a bonus: I didn't get hacked off with Joseph Gordon-Levitt! Which is unusual because he gets on my nerves, as a general rule. Actually, I almost admired his character.
I'm in two minds about the Arthur/Ariadne dynamic, too. Trying to decide if the seriously subtle-ness of their relationship is a) stylish and fitting with the concept of a plot-driven, action film or b) Chris Nolan going "hey, let's throw the suggestion of a romance in so that fangirls can imagine they're Ariadne and go gaga over JGL."
Same with the lack of backstory. We get a vague reference to "military experiments" but not a whole lot else - no explanation of how anyone got into the extraction business, no background knowledge of Eames, or Arthur, or Ariadne. In fact, anything that doesn't contribute to the plot doesn't exist. (Which is why we get Cobb's backstory. It pretty much drives the whole thing.) Again, I don't know if that's a good thing. Part of me says yes! Finally! A non-mushy film with substance!
But then the cynical half of me points out that the whole thing centres around Cobb and Mal and their undying, tragic love story.
Puke. Romance bores me.

So that's my basic, underlying impressions of Inception. Feedback welcomed, contradiction welcomed, another post will probably come up later because hey, I'm a little obsessed.

Emma x 

Friday, 13 August 2010

God it's been a long week.

In case you were wondering, my lack of committed blog-a-logging this week is due to two things,

Work experience you've heard about, so I'll focus a little bit more on Robyn here. I've known Robyn since I was 11, and she moved away to the remote north in Year 10. She's one of my best friends despite this because she's incredibly down-to-earth and easy to get along with, and our prolonged separations mean she doesn't get sick of my jokes as quickly as the rest of my amigos :)

Because of work experience, I hardly got to spend any time with her, which is sad. But we went for Inception and a pizza on Wednesday night, and last night I dragged myself, heavy with fatigue and general 'why-am-not-having-a-holiday-like-normal-people'-ness inside my soul.

Only to be greeted by three of my best friends, a plate of homemade samosas (from scratch!) a vegetable curry and chocolate mousse for dessert, followed by three bottles of wine and twister on the trampoline.

It's so nice when you realise how fantastic your friends are and how much you love them. Anyway, here's a few pictures. Nothing too spicy, I got a lense error pretty early on in the evening :(

Which left me pretty knackered, but never mind. The two blondes in the photo are both going on holiday next week so it was nice to see them.

Next on the agenda, Fill in the Blank Friday

1.  Birthdays are:
honestly, I'm not so keen on the attention!! I'd rather just ignore it.

2.  My favorite birthday memory was: I went to the theatre one year to see Five Children and It...and I just remember it being totally magical. I was transported to another world for a few hours.

3.  A birthday tradition I (or my family) has is
: measuring our heights against the height chart on the back of my sisters door, every year on our birthdays. We had to add an extension after a while, and I've watched myself slowly catch up on my parents' lines! It's cute because you can see when we learned to write our names, and how much taller than my sister is than me...et cetera.

4.  If I had to choose one birthday meal to eat for the rest of my birthdays hence forward, I would choose: A roast from Toby Carvery. Just because I do it every year. And it tastes good. The yorkshire puddings are ENORMOUS.

5.  My birthday is on
: June 21st. Midsummer's Eve, I'll have you know. I quite like that about it. Fairies and spirits and the veil growing thin and the turn of the year, there's something quite magical about it.

6.  If I could take a birthday trip I would go: somewhere cultural and historical and vibey and totally unlike what we do on our holidays normally (Beach...shopping...eating...beach.) I'd go Rome, Paris, Barcelona, Madrid, Pompeii...y'know, somewhere continental.

7.  The best gift I've ever received for my birthday was: I'm going to have to say my first laptop. It was the start of a beautiful relationship!

As usual, that tops off a very long, very tiring week. Did I mention that by this time tomorrow I'll have worked 8 days in a row, and something like 62 hours over those 8? Nevermind. It'll be worth it when I'm rich, successful and gorgeous :)

Tomorrow: Inception and why it boggles my brain, but I still love it.

What have you done this week?

Emma x

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Coming soon...

Inception, confessions and bonding sessions!
All when it's not midnight, I haven't got work tomorrow, and I can be bothered.

i.e. FRIDAY! See you then :)

Monday, 9 August 2010

My sister knows which knobs to twist.

"Hey Emma! You should apply for the Gadget Show prize giveaway!"

"But it's £1.50 by text, that's massive."
"That's less than a magazine. And they had like four cameras!"
"Did they have a DSLR?"
"Er...yeah, I think so!" (is lying.)
"Still..." (i'm wavering)
"Emma...you know there's a trip to Florida...and you know what's in Florida..."

Yeah, I know what's in Florida. £1.50 well spent :)

Punctuation overflow.

I'm doing work experience.

I already have a job!
(But I really don't intend to work on the checkouts for the rest of my life.)

Anyway, I'm at this tiny publishing place in Olton, there are 6 staff and they amuse me to no end for some reasons:

1) They are very ANGRY TYPERS and probably wear out a keyboard a day with their CRAZY ANGRY TYPING.

2) There are the two sterotypical nerds in the corner, Doug and Dave. One looks like Geof from Ace of Cakes (with Frank Skinner's voice) and the other mutters to himself. An example of a typical Douganddave conversation:

Yes Dave?
*insert financial royalty updates speak here*
Doug looks blankly at Dave.
Sorry, Dave, cannot compute...seriously, man, I cannot compute!

3) I'm pretty sure Eleanor and Aaron are having an affair. Get this: they leave at the same time, and laugh at the same time (secret sexy IMing?) and...well that's it really.

Other than that, I discovered I like proofreading, in an *i'm not deathly bored* type way. I couldn't do it every day though. 

Saturday, 7 August 2010


Math tells us of the 3 saddest love stories: Of parallel lines, who were never meant to meet. Of tangent lines, who were together once then parted forever. And of asymptotes, who could only get closer and closer, but never could be together.

I'm sorry,

it's cheesy. 

Oh God, Michael McIntyre is being so funny that I can't even continue. 


I'm ready now.

What I was going to write about is my inability to do mental maths. Embarrassing: today I accidentally punched in £50 instead of £5 meaning I had to do MENTAL MATHS. Which made my head hurt and I did it completely wrong and it was very embarrassing and I really. Couldn't. Do. It.

And then I felt bad! Because I'm clever, okay? I'm a genius. Potential Cambridge candidate over here, I just can't do maths. And then I felt like people were judging me for being stupid because a) I work in Tesco and b) I can't do numbers.

So if any of the (admittedly aged) inhabitants of Knowle are reading this...I'm clever. Ka? 

Let's pretend its Friday.

Because I'm off kilter with what day it is,
and indeed what time.

Anyway, Fill in the Blanks as always.

1. Today for breakfast I ate: I haven't yet. But it will probably be a cereal bar because hey, I can't be arsed to cook and I have holiday weight to lose!

2. My go to/never fail recipe: jacket potato with leftovers...usually the chilli at the back of the freezer. I can't cook but its easy and quick enough if you remember to put the jacket in early.

3. Something I eat that other people think is weird is: dry cereal. I know it's not that weird...but it will do. For now.

4. My worst cooking disaster ever was: I tried to make Moldavian potato cakes for a school project, but I'd never cooked with yeast before and they were just disgusting. Blech. Makes me feel sick thinking about them.
5. If I could only eat one flavor of ice cream the rest of my life it would be: strawberry with big chunks of strawberry in. Or toffee, with big toffee chunks. Basically anything with chunks in does it for me.
6. One food I hate and avoid at all costs is: foods I won't eat are milk, tomatoes (raw) and broccoli. Anything else is plain sailing.
7. What is your favorite meal? Breakfast, lunch, or dinner?: DINNER! Partly because round here dinner can mean lunch or tea, so I could have both ;) but mostly because it involves big dishes of food that tastes fantastic and fills you up for the next day.

And my mom only cooks dinner. She's a good cook.

Actually, whilst we're on cooking shall I show you the first ever meal I cooked, whilst on holiday?

Looks disgusting. Tasted good, I can safely say it was the tastiest thing we ate all week.
I'm showing my age again, aren't I? Never cooked a meal, I don't know. This blog is going to be great fun in two years time, when I go self-catered.


Emma x

Friday, 6 August 2010

Cue dodgy Kate Bush impressions.

He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton’s is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire.” 

Over the holiday that I've rambled about enough already, I read Wuthering Heights for the first time.
(Laugh at me if you want, there's so many books and so little time!) 
Did I like it?

Sort of. The writing in alot of parts was beautiful, like the quote at the top which catapulted itself to near the top of my list of "GOOD QUOTES" and I appreciated the complexity of the plot, if not neccessarily the plausibility of it. 
(How convenient that Isabella falls suddenly in love with Heathcliff, and their union provides an Edgar Linton mark II for Cathy II. I suppose that's where the novel becomes a comment not a story. Actually, whilst I'm on this subject, I'm not sure what Bronte was trying to say with the repetition. Something relating to the moors, I guess. Haven't thought it through yet. I'm sure its pretty basic to anyone who studied it for GCSE, but my brain hasn't made the conclusion yet.)
Wow, long side note. But it was a good book that stuck in my brain for a long time afterwards, and I really enjoyed reading it.

But here's the thing, the thing I'm almost embarrassed to say out loud, on blog, where people can read it: I didn't get Heathcliff.

Which surprised me! All I've heard my entire life is the sexiness of Heathcliff, the amazingness of Heathcliff, I ♥ Heathcliff...and don't get me wrong, I could see where they were coming from. His love for Cathy is hot. I felt sorry for the way he was treated. 
But he was a total twat! Driven not by love but by revenge, he ruins people's lives (or attempts to) just because his was ruined. For God's sake man, take up boxing! Go on a long run! No matter what he goes through, it doesn't justify what a bastard he was in the latter half of the book.

That's my opening statement. I really like arguing with people about books though, so hey, if someone can remind me what I've missed or just vehemently disagree with everything I've said, go ahead. Arguing is fun.

Emma x

Thursday, 5 August 2010


I'm sorry! Too many posts in one evening I know. But I've missed blogging.
How good have I been recently anyway? Used to be months between posts.

Anyway, a list of things to do this summer:

- Have a Harry Potter marathon.
- Write EPQ
- Buy winter wardrobe with the money I didn't spend in France (I only spent a third of my budget, believe it or no)
- Get some fiction words on paper.
- Plough through some more of the books on my "to-read" list.
- Tidy room
- Buy things with which to redecorate room
- Redecorate room.
- Long walks with the dog (I miss her so badly!)
- Do creative things, but not painting because I suck at that.
- Write some poems. Haven't done that in a while.
- Actually enjoy my work experience.
- Build a hammock
- Go in a boat.

I reckon that should keep me going.

And I never even mentioned housefestival,

which was epic, by the way. A few pictures that say it all: kicking back with the pixar crew:

Mike Wasowski, one of the Incredibles, Wall-E, another Mike, the dentist from Finding Nemo, me (Jessie from Toy Story) and Carl from Up.

Wall-E and I teaching dance to the smallbees in my house. Specifically the Year 9s who are an absolute nightmare. Doing music with years 7 and 8 was MUCH more fun because they're up for the challenge, but trying to get 9 and 10 motivated is just impossible.

Me with my friends outside the VI form block. Points and cookies if you can name the ones with active costumes!

Basically, a short synopsis, we spend House Festival organising a bunch of activities for the lower years, which is an enormous task that causes us crazy stress and immense euphoria when it all comes off. Sadly, our house came second by two points which still burns a little, because we deserved to win!

Still, it was a fantastic way to round off the term.
No matter how unchronological my postings are tonight.

Well thanks for listening folks, I'm watching Deep Impact and it's getting a little preachy.

Emma x

Okay August,

I have literally spent HOURS and HOURS catching up on my Reader feeds, my Facebook, my blogs...I haven't even *started* on my tumblr dash yet (with the exception of this one because she was sitting right next to me, moving the mouse for me etc.

Actually, I still have 33 reader feeds to go. Not including this baby which needs a mammoth update, let's roll shall we?

Well for the last two-ish weeks I've been across La Manche in la France, firstly for a week with my friends and then with my family for a week in our house up north. What follows is pictures.

We started out at TWO O CLOCK IN THE MORNING (hence my face) and trekked it down to London Luton, which is half a country away. All was going relatively well until I realised I'd done the classic thing and left my passport in the photocopier.
Well the photocopier thing isn't so classic, but forgetting my passport? You should have seen the Easyjet man's face, utter boredom as this bleary teenager burst into tears at five o clock in the morning. Credit where it's due, though, he got me on a coach to Gatwick for a transfer flight at one in the afternoon. Which was lonely, but hey, I did it. I rang my dad, poor guy, "hey daddy...i know it's five...but can you drive down to london for me?"
Sure, honey, sure.
Then I got on the plane, and lack of sleep plus stress plus cramps...not a good combination. In the end I threw up twice, once at the very end of the flight and once when I arrived at the appartment. God knows how I managed to get into a taxi in between then. Even waiting at the baggage carousel I felt like I was going to die, but my bag was thankfully the first out so I grabbed it and staggered to the rank. My friends, love to them, got me sorted with some water and some brioche and sooner or later I felt alot better.

My diary for that day: "Early in the morning, stomach sick, haven't digested the night before. Stuck on a coach bound for London Gatwick, eyes crusty rusty, red raw and sore. Two Germans in front in Bermudas, a billboard, 1800 connections heathrow and beyond, Terminal Five and I want to go home, this had better be worth it, German on right has hairy ears, fit guy to my right wearing shorts, too short, 5 whole hours until I can check in, next time, for Gods sake, REMEMBER PASSPORT." All in one long paragraph, written on the coach between airports. I think it pretty much describes my state of mind before the trauma of the flight.

Oh did I mention I hate flying?

So stage one was pretty disastrous. After that, though, was bliss.To quote us in our infinite drunken wisdom, "It was the summer of shitty wine."
Sung to the tune of Summer of '69 you see, and named after the absolutely dreadful two euro wine that sustained us for the week. We mixed it with all the substances shown below:

Including but not limited to balsamic vinegar (raspberry flavour), sorbet, and exotic cordial which was actually palatable. Along with woke, wine and coke.

Disgusting I know, but I am a teenager and I will be teenage if it kills me.

A list I made about 3 o' clock in the morning after that particular night:

"I'm a barbie turd! Jo's confused gangster face. RAPE AND CONTRACEPTION. Pi pi la. Turdtard, treetard, oaktard, willowtard, blossomtard, Jo drinking wokinegar, Sarah and Jo poledancing on the columns, me texting my mom about her advent ph.d after she got stuck in paris. Putting UHT in the wine, it turns to blancmange. Running home along the beach and Jo won't go in. Elly being Mom. A sudden obsession with pubes, especially ginger ones, Elly probing Sarah. Sarah loves Mike lots and lots for no apparent reason. Reading texts and being outraged, I am becoming intolerant. Writing the 5E tip on the budget board and not quite keeping within the lines. Jo eating baby food."

Some of it hints at scandal, but I won't bore you with the details!

Anyway, when we weren't nicely squiffy, we were on the beach. 

I read my book alot.
God it was relaxing.

We were so grown up about it though! See that giant black coolbag there? We brought a coolbag with us. I mean really, how organised can you get? Other than not forgetting your passport I guess.

We also went into Montpellier for the day, did some market shopping and the like. The picture won't load but here's a slightly blurry one of the jewellry I bought from it:

For the sake of reference, the JESE on my hand is liquid eyeliner and stands for Jo Emma Sarah Elly. And I have a total snake jewellry fetish that probably deserves a whole post.
Also as a sidenote, I really hate my hands. They're square.

So that was the sum of the parts of the week, pretty much, except a gloriously relaxing journey up to the north by train - five hours, two bottles of coke, a packet of oreos and a large rucksach on the TGV, which stands for train de grande vitesse (french speakers correct me! please!) and is indeed very speedy.
So I spent alot of time looking aimlessly out of the window, and writing in my journal which I love and haven't posted a picture of.
One day, I promise. For now, here is an excerpt of what I wrote at Gare du Nord in Paris whilst waiting for my connection to Amiens:

Train stations make me emotional and sad songs make me miss my dog, stupidly enough. And I would know about transport hubs and emotion, having spent a gazillion bazillion hours in them this holiday.
Mostly airports.
I miss my family, too. But then I also already miss the odd, quasi-independance of the last week. I miss spending every waking moment, and indeed sleeping moment, with Jo & Elly, although Sarah can go (censored for bad language and implied bestiality)
Even though some of the moments were grumpy and some downright mean, I love them more than any other non-blood people in the world, which is saying something I suppose.
Crazy floor-cleaner man keeps coming remarkably  close, but hey, if you're a crazy floor cleaner man you have to get your kicks somehow.
I like to think this holiday has changed me for the better. Things learnt - the proper application of suncream, REMEMBERING PASSPORT, doing housework as you go along, how to make a quite nice pasta thing, basically living without meat for a week. Ingenuity transforms cheap wine, for better or for worse. When in a sandstorm, dismantle the pod or prepare to hunker down. Write everything down. Overpack, for God's sake, take the bigger suitcase. If in doubt, switch your brain on and think. If you don't know the French word, say it in an English accent. Get public transport info in advance. And hey, enjoy yourself. Why the hell not. 

Sorry about the essay, but I feel like that sums it up, and I can move on from rambling about my holiday and on to pressing blog maintenance.

Item number one: Fill in the Blank Friday

1.  The last thing I do before going to sleep is: turn of my reading light, pull the duvet up around my ears, do about half an hour's heavy thinking and then drop off.

2.  When I can't sleep I: rearrange my duvet so i'm hugging it like a koala bear. or if its emotion based, scribble on the walls. or else read and book, and/or paint my nails.

3.  The first thing I do when I wake up is: toilet! Sure you wanted to know that.

4.  When I'm tired I: drop out of the conversation and lie down like this:

5.  My dream bedroom would be: Well as it happens, I'm redecorating this summer so hopefully there'll be pictures ;) currently, giant gold birdcage mural and black picture frames, possibly black quotes on one wall...still deciding. It will be cool though, because I have imagination for these things if not technical accumen.

6.  If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow morning it would be: back in Carnon with my buds! Or in the Beauty and the Beast library. Whichever.

7.  The longest sleep I've ever had was: I once went 10pm to 3pm the next day. That's my record, as this blog will attest at some point. I do like sleeping!

8.  I sleep on my: bed. I'm so funny. Anyway, usually end up on my left shoulder because I always have marks on my head where I've ended up on the table.

9.  When I sleep, I like to wear: big t-shirts and shorts, or joggers in the winter.

10.  My bedtime is usually: between 10 and 11 on weekdays, anyones guess at weekends and holidays. Usually early morning depending on the tv and the internet activity.

Well there's my Fridays caught up on. Now awards.

Well, award really, let's not get too carried away. At the risk of sounding like a newb, this is actually my first, so thanks to Nikolett for that!

The Versatile Blogger Award! Here are the rules:

There are some rules to this award:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award.

Well that one was easy.

2. Share seven things about you

1) I like memorizing lists. I used to have a superhuman capacity for it, nowadays I just have to do it to keep my brain in order. I can still name all the English monarchs since Edward the Confessor.

2) I am a Harry Potter nerd. I can blame it partly on being of That Generation, but also on my google obsession, and I usually know the answers to trivia questions. In fact, it would be my mastermind subject.
Don't laugh at me.

3) I like to have my books with matching covers, preferably hard-backs, and I don't like breaking the bindings of them.

4) I love to dance.

5) I'm a little bit of an obsessive hair dyer - currently a redhead, but in a month from now, anyone's guess.

6) I've been told there's a passing resemblance between me and Amy Pond. Not looks-wise, but I like big jumpers and apparently we make the same faces. Exciting, I know.

7) I'm currently researching WWI literature for an EPQ at college...and...kind of enjoying it.

In other words, I'm discovering my inner nerdiness.

3. Nominate 6 newly discovered blogs

This is hard, because I'm not actually subscribed to that many blogs. However, some recent subscriptions:


I love blogs, I do, and there are so many I'd bring out here if it wasnt' "new finds" because there are some brilliant ones out there. However, these are three of the newest.

4. Let your nominees know about the award!

Know what? I think I'm going to do something really epic and unsubscribe from my stardoll blogs. Stardoll, I thank you from the cockles of my liver for bringing me to the blogosphere, I really do.
For the record, I've always been too old for stardoll.
I'm extra too old for the blogs now, bye fellaz!

Well, that concludes my large update. I'll do north with the family some other time, and until then, enjoy your time.

Emma x