Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Last night,

I found my iPod and my entire depression LIFTED.
Now my world is filled with thoughts of Ewan McGregor singing Your Song on top of a jewelled elephant and Alexander Kerensky escaping Russia dressed as a nurse.

Seriously, I was convinced yesterday I was depressed due to my life, but evidently it was just my iPod. Awesome. I love how superficial my life is.

Imagine this guy dressed as a nurse if you will.

Monday, 28 September 2009

I knew life would suck.

At the risk of whining,

my family don't see me as a real person,
my friends don't notice when I'm not there,
alot of the time I wish I wasn't.

I did it on purpose. Like Zaphod Beeblebrox, I messed with my programming. Only I made it my default to be invisible, because if I wasn't taking anything then there was no pressure to give anything, which means there's no pressure to be a valid human being.

I do have issues with that.

Also I've lost my iPod.

Saturday, 26 September 2009


Yes, good news all round folks. I have a JOB. I am a cashier at Tesco which sucks but PAYS, which brings 99% of my worries and throws them down the toilet. My life is goooood.

Friday, 25 September 2009

Remember My Name!

I've never seen the original Fame. Well, I wasn't exactly born when it came out, was I? But I can guarantee 100% it's better than the awful crap I saw today.

From start to finish it was an absolute cliche, but it was worse than that - a cliche is fine in the right place, like in High School Musical.
It wasn't even the actors - they could all act at least passably.
But it had absolutely no plot from start to finish! There were vague nuances - sometimes Kay Panabaker and Fit-Guy broke up - but really? Lackage of proper plot, which was mostly due to the weird format - they'd start progressing in freshman year, then SKIP, they've moved on to sophomore! And so on. So you don't really feel any sense of empathy for the characters. Some of them I didn't even work out their names till afterwards. Some of them I still don't know, but I've got IMDB for reference.

Individual character points now.First, the protagonist. On the right above, if you were confused.
Jenny is a highly-strung girl who has trouble loosening up for her drama lessons, and can't sing anything that your grandma hasn't heard of. Naively, she then falls for the ol' "I know a casting director" spiel and nearly gets raped.
Stupid idiot. Her boyfriend warns her against it, but does she listen? No.
And do we despise this girl for her uselessness, be surprised at her lack of success? OF COURSE NOT, we love her for her klutzy crapness.

On the left, the love interest. Marco.
Admittedly this guy was fitness defined, but god, his voice was so...basically Jonas Brothers. And he had lots of teeth. I don't have masses of beef with Marco, but that's only because he had no character anyway, so there was nothing to hate.

Up there is Denise. Denise is a classical pianist, and she's brilliant. She's a bit bored with it but, as she tells Malik, "I've never tried anything else."
And then one day she tries to sing a song on a whim and SURPRISE SURPRISE she's absolutely brilliant.
And then she teams up with two other students, sings HIP HOP, and is offered a record deal if she ditches her friends. But...she says no. She's "following her heart"
I did tell you it was cliche.

There was no character who angered me more than Malik.
Because the guy was black, he lived in a single-parent household, who's father left and was a crack addict, the sister got killed in a drive by shooting and he raps. He's also full of anger and lacking respect.
I mean REALLY. Could there be a more disgustingly stereotypical outlook than that? I can just see the bespectacled production team going "meh. we need a more street outlook. let's stick in a black guy with a past."
This made me severely sick, and I'm going to stop talking about it.

I can't even be bothered with Joy, Alice, Victor, or the camera-man bloke whose name I do not know. No personality. No nothing. And although I think Alice was *supposed* to be the bitch of the film, there was no conflict, no friction, NADA.

I will mention Kevin though. Kevin's the lefternmost of the picture above, next to Joy, Victor and Alice.

Kevin is a really bad ballet dancer from Iowa. And he's not going to be good enough to make it big (which is blatantly obvious from day one) which is sad. But one day (probably in senior year) his teacher calls him into the office, and says...Kevin. You will never make it as a professional ballet dancer.
And then there's this totally touching scene where he tries to commit suicide, which I actually thought was really well done (althoguh I wasn't quite sure why Jenny,Joy and random extra were in the subway at the same time, why he'd be cruel enough to do it in front of them and why Joy didn't chat to him when she later calls him her "best friend")

Over bracket use, sorry.

Bottom line, the damn thing was terrible. Woo.

Friday, 18 September 2009

Paper Round.

I don't actually *have* a paper round. My little sister does, but she's laaazy so sometimes (me being the best sister in the universe) I do it for her, and I enjoy it immensely. Because I just trundle around with my earphones in and my papers in my little fluoro cart, taking in the delights of early evening Solihull and people watching.

The best thing is, when I open the porch doors to drop the papers, I catch little sniffs of the house inside. So I can tell if old people live there because they smell *old*
And I can tell if someone's having curry for tea, or beefburgers, or bacon, and me being nosy as I totally love that.
Sometimes you see that everyone takes off their shoes before they go inside, so you know they're cleanliness freaks, and they're all wearing sandals so they're all total squares.
And there's the little labrador statue with a Birmingham City FC knitted hat on so you know they love dogs and football.

It's just nice to get little insights into other people's lives :) Sort of knowing that other people are all having lives, and these little serendipitous moments where we all cross over are so...interesting. Which is why when I'm a student I will spend ALL my free time sitting in a caff, watching people walk past and eating pasta.


Emma x

Thursday, 3 September 2009


Guess what I've been to see.

I've had a bit of a fascination for Nazi Germany going on for about...a year, maybe two, now. I just drink up anything around the time and the area...something about it really captured my interest. So going to see Cabaret was a great big treat for me, because it combined history and music.

Wayne Sleep played his MC part brilliantly, by the way. Just the right amount of creepy. The dancers were all brilliant (bar one) and the acting also pretty good.

There were also lots of gratuitous naked people, gay kissing and people having 'sex' on stage, (including 6ft Helga and a 5ft sailor) which was a bit awkward seeing as I went with my mom and little sister.

But seriously, it was awesome. *such* a story, really, I nearly cried when Sally was singing Cabaret.

Not exactly a fluffy musical though.


By the way.

Ah, bollocks.

Up until I dunno, a week ago? Ask me if I wanted children, and my answer would have been "Meh."
Just meh. I wasn't exactly anti-family, or anything, but if a fortune teller had told me I'd never have kids, I wouldn't have cried or even been that bothered.

Now though, that's changed. All of a sudden, WHAM BAM THANKYOU MAM, I am broody as heck.

And you know why? A stupid facebook quiz, one of these predict-you-future jobbies. Obviously it's not going to come true, I'm not completely braindead. But all of a sudden, I just...
Picture came out small, but text reads:

"Emma took the 'Children? How Many? Where? When? And got the result: 3 girls 2 boys. You will have identical triplet girls at 23 years old, you will call them Eva, Isla and Mia. Then on your 30th birthday you will have a son called Jacob. Finally just before you turn 34 you will have another boy called Fin."

I don't want triplets, I don't want 5 children, whatever. What I do want is a family. I don't want to be alone when I'm old, I don't want to have lived a life of complete unfulfillment, blah, blah and blah.

So yeah...heartwarming, huh? I guess I'm softening up in my old age.

Other things to tell you about:

My hallway currently looks like an umbrella garden. There are four, and my hall is so small I can't do the splits across the length of it.
I can't do the splits anyway, but whatever.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Coming Back Down With A Bump

So...unless you're Australian or extremely unlucky, you like me are still on holiday. Yes, despite the fact that it's tipping down with rain outside, I'm still clinging to what's left of my free time. Unfortunately life seems to have other ideas. My stress levels are tippity top right now, and here's why.

MONEY (immediate)

At the moment, I have no money. At all. In fact, I have exactly £1.10 to my name and I've still got a vast amount of my sixth form wardrobe to buy, including a black skirt, 3 more tops, a pair of shoes plus stationary, and preferably a new school back. Plus the ridiculous amount of September babies I've got to buy presents for.
My £1.10 won't even stretch to lunch.

MONEY (future)

Because you see, there's a History/Politics trip to America next year, and it's going to cost a minimum of £800. Probably £1000. Meaning that according to my mom, I'm going to have to 'put in' if I want to go. So I've been job hunting.

Number of CVs handed out so far: 10
Interviews gained: 2
Jobs recieved : 0.

Needless to say, the job hunt is not going well. I'm still waiting to hear on one of them, but if I don't that means looking for more vacancies, writing endless application forms, and INTERVIEWS.
I hate interviews.
Today, the interviewer asked me why he should hire me for the job I was going for. You know what I answered? "Uh...I'm a nice person?"
Whilst I am undeniably excellent (:P) at writing stuff down and creating a kickass CV (believe me, it kicks major butt) I SUCK at saying it out loud! Why must I be so failful?


Yeah, sixth form will be fun. Yes, I will rule the school. But it will also suck because: Y13 rule the common room this year. Which sucks for us lowly Y12s. I have to share a common room with the rest of Y12, who I don't like. Apparently the boys' school common room smells bad, and that's where the pool table and the vending machines are. School means more homework, A levels, getting up regularly and bottom line ALL WILL BE BORING.


I'll find something happy and/or funny to tell you guys eventually.