Friday, 2 November 2012

Winning the family.

You all are familiar with the concept of winning a break-up, right? Doing better out of the end of a relationship than your ex-other-half?
Today I'm going to try and Win the Family.

Whole family get-togethers in my family are relatively rare: usually there's some form of excruciatingly boring Christmas affair once a year and then we can move on. On my mom's side we're a relatively large family - there are four siblings, 3 spouses and 7 grandchildren; but my granddad is also one of 4 who also all have loads of kids and grandkids so it all gets a bit nuts sometimes. In approximately 7 hours time (gah) all of these people will converge on my grandparents' house and whilst on the surface it will be a veritable punchbowl of polite conversation and witty anecdotes, underneath it will be a nail-biting, chaotic whirlpool-esque FAMILY WAR.

Because you can't just catch up with the family, oh no.
You have to win the family.

So how's university, cousin A?
Great thanks, I'm averaging a 2:1 and really enjoying my course!
That's great, cousin A! Did I tell you about cousin B? They're averaging a super-first! That's right, they invented an entire new degree classifcation for them. And they have 3 years work experience prepared for the summer! The laws of time decided to make an exception for them. And they love their course so much that Aphrodite herself swooped down from the heavens, saw how much they loved their course and just went damn it, cousin B! I quit! I can never make anyone love like you do! 
Ah. Well. That's good, Auntie B. That's great.

Tomorrow, though, I'm ready to win the family. I have my two jobs, my supreme levels of organisation, my first in the end of year exam, my killer heels, and my Easter work experience lined up with which to wow the judges. And in the meantime, my cousins and I can sit back on our heels, collectively cringe when asked if we're "courting" at all, and lie through our teeth when quizzed about our alcohol habits.

Winning the family? I think so.

You guys all get this, right? As much as you love your family, there's always a war going on underneath? It cannot just be me...

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