I could tell the good people of Tesco, Knowle.
1. No, till 1 is no different from any of the other trolley tills. We accept cash, credit cards, baskets, trolleys, those stupid wheely baskets and, if you want to, you can use bags.
2. I have no opinion on the proposed new Waitrose, whatsoever. Stop asking me.
3. The next time you forget something whilst you're in the queue, you might want to think about telling me. Yes, I saw you smack your forehead then walk off, but it's common courtesy to apologise before you leave me sitting there like a lump of sugar with a queue of people behind me.
4. Just because I'm offering help with your packing, doesn't mean I enjoy packing. "If you want to" is not an appropriate response.
5. When words come out of my mouth, they are addressed to you. Kindly answer them.
6. The phone call can wait. Please. I sit here 8 hours a day and I would prefer to actually communicate with my customers.
7. If you don't bring your own bags, you do not have my respect. I don't care if it's unfair, OWN BAGS ARE SO MUCH QUICKER!
8. Opening bags is not that difficult. If you have a problem with it, ask me. Please, I can do it in seconds without trying, it's all I ever do.
9. If there are only small bags out, we've run out of big bags. Likewise, no I do not have a secret stash of Telegraphs, milk, or bread. I'm sorry if we've run out, but I'm not actually involved in the ordering of stock. That's because I'm 16 and I work one day a week. STOP COMPLAINING.
10. No, we do not have any wine carriers.
That will be all :)